My relationship of two years was over, and I tried to find anything to pin my break up on. In reality, I had to look a little deeper and realize it was just not meant to be and the problems were deeper than we thought. As my heart ached, I noticed that I didn’t know who I was. Sometimes when we invest all that we have in someone we tend to lose who we are. I knew that I had to change this and I was not just going to sit around and be lost. I had gone through all the stages people normally go through after a break up. I finally picked myself up and had to change my way of living. It was hard, but it was time to turn this break up into something great. I knew I was not alone in this process which made things much easier. This isn’t a “how to deal with a heartbreak” story, it’s a push for those women who are in my situation.
I dedicated my summer to my journey of self-discovery. It was a time full of laughter fears and experiences that I would have never done before. The best way to figure out who you are is to get out of your comfort zone and that’s what I did. I booked a flight to New York City with my best friend, it was going to be just us two in the biggest and busiest city. This trip was my attempt to get in touch with the real me, where I would try new things and learn how to be independent. We learned how to read airport signs and figured out the subway system, we handled everything on our own. It might seem small, but those details made me more of aware of the woman I am capable of being. I was in the city of dreams, my favorite city. I stood in Times Square and took in all the lights, I closed my eyes and just listened to the hustling and bustling of the city. I knew then that I was not alone and that the walls I had built had come down and it was my time to live.
I turned to writing, I wrote in my journal almost every day no matter if I was feeling good or bad. It was a way of venting. if I was angry, I would write down all my anger instead of keeping it in and eventually blowing up. I had to really learn how to control my emotions and not always carry my heart on my sleeve. I learned to use my emotions in the right time.
From that summer on I felt as if I was a new person. I transferred to a new University and used all my pent-up energy to my advantage. I got involved in school, made new friendships and connections and I let go of old friendships that were no longer benefiting me. When life gives you the opportunity to start fresh, take it. You might learn a few new things about yourself you didn’t know. I learned that I was a lot more outspoken then I thought, and that it’s okay to speak your mind. There will always be people who do not like you. Instead of placing so much attention on them, use your energy on the people who actually matter. Learn that you can’t please everyone.
Your twenties are your golden years. It is the time to live your life to the fullest, make mistakes and follow our dreams. I needed a breakup to realize that I was not who I wanted to be.
I took take a leap of faith and went on a journey of self-discovery. If you’re currently asking, “who am I?” that’s okay. This is the time to experiment and take that risk, I sure did. Get out of your comfort zone, write your feelings, plan trips, make new friends and learn new things. Everything we do can be an investment on yourself, every experience is a lesson we learn. Life is too short to think “what if?” It all starts with the leap of faith. The bigger the risk, the bigger reward.
Cover photo: https://www.pinterest.com/explore/self-discovery-quotes/?lp=true