Dating someone while having an anxiety disorder is like walking on eggshells. It can be really stressful and confusing at times. You feel on edge constantly. Constant thoughts of “is my anxiety going to scare them away? Do I even deserve to have a happy relationship?” Anxiety can feel like an extra person in the relationship.
Dating someone who has anxiety may feel challenging at times to the partner. It may be confusing and frustrating at times. It can feel like a rollercoaster. One minute the relationship is up, and the next, it’s down. Communication and understanding is key to having a smoother relationship despite anxiety holding you back at times.
One thing that a partner should do is educate themselves on anxiety disorders. It can feel intimidating and scary if you go into it blind. Trying to understand your partner’s mindset will help both of you in the long run. There are different types of anxiety, and learning which one your partner has will help a lot. Everyone experiences anxiety, of course, but when you have a disorder, it can consume your entire life.
Always trust your partner when it comes to their anxiety. Research is great and helps you understand your partner. However, you’re not an expert on their anxiety. Trust them when they say certain situations may trigger them. I have social anxiety, and large family events would always psych me out in my last relationship. I would always need time to mentally prepare myself and my partner understood that I couldn’t be super social around his family. He trusted my boundaries and respected them.
Taking care of your own mental health is important too. Listening and providing emotional support for your partner who has anxiety is a great thing to do. But, it can get overwhelming at times, and we know this. You shouldn’t absorb all of their worries. You might end up developing anxiety yourself. It can become co-dependent as well, and that is unhealthy. There has to be a balance.
Something that people who are dating someone with anxiety need to understand is one of the best things you can do for us is reassure us. Our brains often make us overthink the entire relationship and overthink little things that are most likely irrational. We go over everything that we think can go wrong. Validation is important to us because it shows that you are listening to our fears and worries, even if they seem silly to you.
Being unable to provide validation will drive your relationship to the ground. The last time I dated someone, it ended because they weren’t able to reassure me when I needed that. Of course, constant reassurance can become annoying but don’t brush off your partners’ worries because our thoughts are usually beyond our control. Trust us, most of the time we know it’s all in our head, and we’re being irrational. We just want to feel secure in the relationship. It’s nice to be reminded that we are not defined by our anxiety.