It’s that time of year again—back-to-school season. And with the end of a relaxing summer often comes the resolution to go to the gym. The only problem is that while most of us spent the summer lounging by the pool, we began replacing exercise with making way too many trips to Chipotle. Whilst trying to get back into the swing of things, here are some of the expectations you’ll have and the realities you’ll most likely face.
GETTING UP EARLY TO GO TO THE GYM:
Expectation: You set your alarm early to get out and seize the day! Your morning workout will make you proactive throughout the day.
Reality: All college students know this: sleep is precious. Hit the snooze button and get to the gym later, when you have some time.
Expectation: You’ll wear the newest Lulu Lemon yoga pants and a cute matching tank.
Reality: Sift through your laundry to find oversized shorts and a shirt you won in the fourth grade that has an overbearing coffee stain across the front.
GOING TO THE GYM WITH YOUR BFF:
Expectation: Your best friend will be your motivation. She is either in much better shape than you, so she’ll take the workout seriously, or she is on the same level as you, in which case you can really encourage each other.
Reality: If you and your best friend are anything like me and mine, there is no way that you’ll get anything done. You two will be taking selfies, gossiping, and laughing at each other’s pathetic attempts to do yoga.
Expectation: Initially you go into the class, whether it is yoga, zumba or kickboxing, with an eager attitude. “I can totally keep up with these people…it will be easy,” you think to yourself.
Reality: Everyone in the class has been going for weeks, and already knows the choreographed steps. Not only are you struggling to keep up (yes…even with that one old man in the back), but the instructor also makes a point of constantly reminding you to “kick higher” or “hold that plank!”
Expectation: You and your significant other will spend some bonding time together!
Reality: We really don’t know who this is more awkward for, you or the others that are subjected to watching.
GETTING INTO A TREADMILL RACE WITH THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU:
Expectation: What’s a little friendly competition, right? Especially because you were one of the fastest on your high school track team
Reality: So, that person next to you happened to be related to Usaine Bolt or Bruce Jenner…. or both. *Subtly turn down the machine speed*
TRYING DYNAMIC STRETCHING:
Expectation: Research has suggested that dynamic stretching is the most beneficial to get the fastest results.
Reality: What is this?!?!?!
FINDING A BOYFRIEND AT THE GYM:
Expectation: Let’s be real ladies, this is a motivator for all of us.
Reality: The guy, drenched in sweat, trying to show off his bench-press keeps staring at you.
Expectation: Your recently added Beyoncé Pandora station is a sure sign that you will make it through your entire workout. Let me hear you say hey Mrs. Carter!
Reality: You forgot your headphones, and then iPod dies within minutes of walking in to the gym.
Expectation: If Victoria’s Secret models can workout looking the way they do, so can I!
Reality: Sweat is not a good look for any of us.
USING THE NEWEST EQUIPMENT:
Expectation: This calf-press, elliptical, cycle, chair squat all-in-one machine is so easy to use!
Reality: No one understands gym equipment. It’s almost as if someone from a different planet left behind their most advanced and confusing technology.
SEEING IMMEDIATE RESULTS:
Expectation: “If I go to the gym twice this week I should lose at least 15 pounds.”
Reality: Wishful thinking…
…So, let’s be honest with ourselves. Most of us are not going to become Adriana Lima or Cameron Diaz overnight, but you have to start somewhere (…next week)!