Why Self Love Isn't Always Selfish

Humans are arguably the most sociable species on the planet. We rely on the interactions we have with other people - whether they be friends, family or merely people we exchange a smile with in the street.

Have you ever stopped to think just how powerful it is to be on the receiving end of a simple smile from a stranger ? How much of a difference it can make to a bad day? It’s infectious. Without the relationships we build with others, we can sometimes feel lost. I guess that’s partly why grieving is so hard; it’s the horrible thought that you’ll never be able to interact with that person again, because you’ve built who you are upon those relationships. Losing someone else is like losing a part of yourself.

However, the point of this article is not about losing a loved one. It's about learning to love yourself, why it really is one of the most important things to do, and (ironically) one of the most selfless things you can do in life.

To love someone else means that you have to learn to love yourself.

When you say you love someone or someone says they love you, you want that to mean that they love elements of you, like your personality, or your smile, or your laugh, or your company.

But, if you don’t love yourself, then I don’t think that you can ever love another person for just being themselves. Because you’re also going to have fallen in love with the way that they make you sense that overwhelming feeling of love that you’ve maybe not experienced yet. A feeling that is unfamiliar because it is a different kind of love than what you might receive from your family or friends .

We seem to be susceptible to falling for anything that’s new because we’ve never felt it before - it’s exciting and exhilarating.

If you’ve never learnt to love yourself properly, then you’re going to find the feeling of love new and exciting. When you say that you love someone, it won't just be a reflection of you loving their personality, their smile or their laugh. It will be partly because of the new emotion and feeling that they’ve allowed you to experience.

I think that if you learn to love yourself, then you’ll be able to fall for someone more deeply and that the first ever ‘I love you’ will be a little more sincere. It will allow you to fall in love with that person over and above just the love that they make you feel. I’m not saying that receiving love isn't important and that someone who makes you feel that way isn’t special. I’m saying that if you want to love someone as much as they want and deserve to be loved, then you need to learn to love yourself first.

Everyone has their own way of learning how to love themselves. It's just a matter of finding which one is better for you and applying yourself. Loving who you are will all be worth it when you finally experience that all-encompassing love for another person. So, try every way you can, and keep trying!