If you haven’t read Rupi Kaur’s poetry collection “Milk and Honey” yet, I highly recommend that you get yourself down to your nearest bookshop. The collection is split into four chapters: “The Hurting”, “The Loving”, “The Breaking” and “The Healing”. Decorated with her own expressive drawings, the collection details Rupi’s experiences with trauma, heartache and (eventually) getting better.
All written in Rupi Kaur’s distinctive, fragmented style, the quotes below are all from the collection, available from these online retailers. The draw of her poetry is that it is simultaneously universal and specifically personal. There is something for everyone to learn from this poetry, so here are some lessons I have learnt.
1) There will always be people who do not want you to speak.
“You were so afraid
Of my voice
I decided to be
afraid of it too.”
There will always be people who are scared not just of the words you say, but the fact that you have the bravery to speak them aloud. It will always be easier to just stay silent and let things go, but if you don’t speak up when it’s necessary, you can lose so much more than just your voice.
2) History repeats itself.
“If I knew what
Safety looked like
I would have spent
Less time falling into
Arms that were not”
It’s OK to make mistakes. Especially if those mistakes are related to people. We’ve all made mistakes in our past: trusted people who were cruel, believed people who were liars and given second chances to people who didn’t even deserve one. But you have the power to learn from every mistake and make sure you treat it as a lesson, not failure.
3) You are allowed to take up space.
“trying to convince myself
I am allowed
to take up space
is like writing with
my left hand
when I was born
to use my right”
Don’t apologise when someone walks into you. Don’t apologise for taking up a seat on a bus. Don’t apologise for taking your rightful place in the world.
4) Defend your opinions with your life.
“You tell me to quiet down cause
My opinions make me less beautiful
But I was not made with a fire in my belly
So I could be put out
I was not made with a lightness on my tongue
So I could be easy to swallow…”
There will always be people who don’t agree with you. Especially as women, we are often told to keep quiet about the issues that bother us because it’s not ‘ladylike’ to have opinions. If it’s something that is still on your mind, then it’s something worth fighting for.
5) Allow yourself to love others.
“I know I
Should crumble
For better reasons
But have you seen
That boy he brings
The sun to its
Knees every
Night”
It’s easy to confuse being strong with being cold or hard. It’s just as important to know when to let people in as it is to know when to shut them out. It’s so hard to learn how to recognise good people when you find them, but it’s a lesson well worth learning.
6) Everything will be ok.
“If you were born with
The weakness to fall
You were born with
The strength to rise”
It sounds cheesy, but the good thing about being at your rock bottom is knowing that the only way is up. Being strong doesn’t feel particularly like being strong in the moment, but in hindsight it feels pretty great to look back and see how far you’ve come.
These are just six lessons out of a hundred. Check out Rupi Kaur’s instagram here, where she often posts her poems. Happy reading!