I Love Myself, Here’s How You Can Too

There’s a fine line between humility and self-deprecation. Every day, when I hear women and girls talk about how pretty or sexy they feel, I also hear someone telling them to “not let it go to their head”. People, around the world, should recognize that this sort of stifling of woman’s self-confidence is insane.

Women are constantly forced to compete against one another; for boys, for grades, for jobs, whatever you can think of. While competition is present in every aspect of life, between women and others, the war against confidence is not one we should be waging against each other.

If you wake up and you’re feeling yourself, embrace that. Take the day by the horns and make it yours. No one, man or woman, can tell you to tone it down. If you’re finding yourself in a self-esteem slump, on the other hand, here are the tips you need to shout your confidence from the rooftop.

1. Say no to yourself

Don’t get caught up in limitations. If you find yourself thinking “I can’t do this…” then you need to pour every ounce of energy into whatever it is to prove yourself wrong. Once you get in the habit of powering through or overcoming obstacles, you’ll find yourself sure that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

2. Take responsibility for your strengths and talents

Like I said before, there’s a fine line between humility and self-deprecation. If you find yourself on the receiving end of a compliment and you deflect it with the “Oh, no, it’s nothing!”, then you’re doing yourself a disservice. If you get a compliment on a paper, own your intelligence. Own the things you’ve worked for like your smarts, your skills, or even your beat (makeup takes skill and time I understand this).

3. Get yourself pumped with some confidence-exuding music

Everyone has their "confident jams". For me, it’s Cardi B. Her music makes me want to jump up, dance, and smack all the haters. Everyone has a tune that can get them hype as heck to take on whatever challenges they may be up against. Personally, I think the jams by the female greats (Rihanna, Beyonce, Fergie, Nicki Minaj, etc.) are perfect for everyone. Take a look at this link to get yourself on the pump jam track.

4. Exercise!

As someone who likes working out, I think it helps with a myriad of things. While it helps manage anxiety and prevent depression, it also expends energy. You’ll find yourself going about your days thinking less of what people are saying about you simply because you won’t have the energy to. Find a routine that gets you excited or lets you have a solid 30 minutes watching your favorite show! Once you start to get in the habit, you’ll start to love working out too.

5. Set some long-term goals

Everyone feels good after achieving a goal. Not only will having self-discipline and working towards a meaningful accomplishment help you get something done, but it will also remind you of what a capable, strong woman you can be. Sometimes sacrificing short-term comfort can suck, but the long-term happiness that comes from such success is incomparable.

6. Do more of what makes you happy

When we’re happy, we’re usually content with who we are (AKA loving ourselves and loving life). Whatever it is that you love, you have to carve out some time to do it. School and grades are important, for sure, but we should always strive to enrich our lives and not waste time concerning ourselves with what other people think.

7. Treat yourself

Honestly, this is on every list I’ve ever written because it is so freaking important. Loving yourself is about embracing yourself and one of the ways to do that is recognize how amazing you are with some rewards. Buy that face mask, you deserve it. Take that New Girl break, you’ve earned it. Whatever you need to recognize that you’re special, do it.

Loving yourself is a process, and if you’re like most people, then you need to take small steps to overcome the embedded insecurities that we’ve been conditioned to feel. Make the conscious choice every day to take this journey and unlearn all of those bad feelings you know.