I know, I know, it’s hard to admit, but toxic people are all around you. I know you’ve been friends with Alex since 4th grade, and you’ve known James since pre-k, but if its a struggle to stay friends with them, then it’s probably for a reason.
Sometimes it takes a lot of pushing for you to realize that someone is toxic for you, especially in the modern landscape of how friendships should look. But here is a reminder: if at any point you feel uncomfortable in any kind of relationship, you have a full right to leave that relationship. Toxic behavior is apparent in most social settings, but whether your discomfort stems from peer pressure or rude comments on your insecurities, you don’t deserve it, and you don’t have to put up with it.
Having been through many toxic relationships, I can tell you, that sometimes the people you think are your friends, really aren’t. Sure she’s your best friend now, but if she is okay with ditching you as soon as she meets new people, then you aren’t worth anything as a friend to that person. I promise, there are people in your life who value you and your opinions, quirks, and tendencies more than you know, and these are the people that you should surround yourself with. Truly, I’ve always been an insecure person, however, as soon as I started paying attention to the people who built me up, instead of those who pushed me down, I started to feel better about myself.
When I started feeling better about myself, I started enjoying things a lot more, which led me to meet even more people who built me up and reminded me that I was truly a good friend and fun to be around. As I started meeting more and more people who genuinely wanted to be friends with me, I started to forget the feelings of discomfort that I was left with by those who saw me as disposable.
By cutting out the toxic people in my life, I was able to build friendships with people who genuinely enjoyed my company, and who I enjoyed being with as well. It was through cutting the toxic people out of my life (or when they left, not letting them back in) that I was able to build my confidence and feel more secure in my friendships. I used to sit and wait for my friends to leave me because I wholeheartedly believed that there was no way they actually enjoyed my company, but now I realize that that wasn’t the case. I was in my own head, based on patterns my toxic friends had caused me to believe were true. I used to be so paranoid that anything I did would result in all of my friend disappearing and leaving me. However, now, when I’m with my friends, I know that they won’t be judging me for every word I say, or for what I wear, or for any other thing that might happen, because they support me and love me for who I am. Since cutting the toxic people out of my life, I’ve been able to grow much more confident and my overall level of happiness has improved dramatically. Not once have I wished for those friendships back, or missed them, I truly just live in the moment with the friends who want to be there with me. From my roommates to family and coworkers to classmates, I have a support network that builds me up, rather than tears me down. And really, what more do you need than that?