Music is powerful. It can bring us together, connect us with our inner selves, and put us at ease, no matter what stage of life we are in. That’s what it means for me, at least.
My grandmother loved music; she played and spoke about it with so much love and joy that I found it infectious. I was her number one fan and she was mine. She shared and passed on her love for music to me which has just flourished over the years, and continues to make an impact on my life.
In high school, I participated in band class, the school’s choir, and took flute lessons. This was one of my favorite parts of my day; I looked forward to it, even with the workload I had. When I performed, there was a rush that went through my veins, and the nervousness I had would go away once I was on stage. I lived in the moment and enjoyed the talent that surrounded me.
Music is a passion of mine, but it did much more than bring joy. I remember my mom telling me that my flute teacher said that I shouldn’t stop playing the flute, and that I should continue to do music since she felt that it was therapeutic for me. “Yes,” was my brain’s response without even thinking about it. Even then, I knew how music was helping me.
During my freshman year, I stopped taking lessons and didn’t participate in music organizations, and I barely touched the flute. However, in those few moments when I did touch my flute, it usually was when I felt things were getting too much, and I needed an escape. I opened my cabinet, took my flute out of its case, and just started playing, letting my fingers move across the silver keys.
When I listen to and feel the beautiful melody around me, I am transported into a different state of mind. It’s a place where my thoughts no longer overwhelmed me, and where I could easily let go of the negativity that I felt. When I think about it, I would describe it as a conversation without words, where I spoke with expressions, through the notes, crescendos, decrescendos, pianos, and fortes.
When I spoke, it never felt forced, where someone has to interrogate me to speak up. Opening up felt natural, and I know that nothing bad was going to happen whatever happened. It’s a safe zone where I could get everything out of my system, get clarity on the situation or the problems I encountered, and let my creativity flow out of me. Every time, I was left with this sense of relief, releasing all the emotions that I was suppressed or didn’t even know I had. It touched a part of me and my soul, and it freed me of everything that I was hiding.
Simultaneously, music brings me to my happy place. In my head, I see my family, friends, and my grandmother sitting on the gym bleachers watching me perform in my winter and spring concerts. My heart opens up as I see these memories, and connects me to a happier self, one that is buried under all the stress and frustrations. Once I packed away my flute, it left me in a chipper mood, more energized and refreshed.
Until this day, it gives me that sense of comfort, whether I am performing or simply listening to songs. Music always leaves with a song in my heart that makes me want to sing and express it. It somehow manages to slow down time, when in reality, it is ticking every minute. It reminds me of the bigger picture, that I should remember to find little pockets of joy in my life, and never let it go.
I love music, with all my heart. I am thankful that I have this outlet to not only express myself creatively, but also to open myself up in a different way. It gives this sense of serenity that allows me to explore and think about my emotions whilst still grounding me into the present.
It sparks love in my heart and I know I can always return to it, no matter how out of practice I am. I am so grateful and blessed that this love has passed down to me. It has done wonders for me, sometimes in ways that I have never expected before.