“Too Nice”: Is There Something Wrong with Being Overly Kind?

As someone who has been countlessly categorized as “too nice” by those surrounding me, I can definitely say that there are some pros and cons associated to the tag.

But first, what exactly does it mean to be categorized as “too nice?” Well, I’m glad you ask. Truthfully, I don’t know the exact definition. Generally, it’s when one goes out of their way for the benefit of others. But that’s only my definition. If you asked someone else, who knows? Maybe they might say it’s someone who’s just self-deprecating.

I feel that there has always been a negative connotation attached to people who seem too kind, or too friendly, or too generous, or too empathetic. Are these people simply cleverly manipulative? Is this niceness just one big farce? How can someone even be selflessly nice?

Personally, there have been moments where I’ve felt like my actions or motives have been misunderstood. Sometimes I can come off as too quiet or withholding, when in actuality, I just don’t want to make a big deal out of what I’m feeling. Other times, I just don’t voice my opinion because I don’t want to sound demeaning or unsupportive. Sometimes it feels like I agreed to do things without even thinking, just because I didn’t want to say no. I genuinely wanted to be there, but not necessarily in the manner I agreed to.

I hope that didn’t make me sound crazy. I can see problems with each of these things. But I can also see some of their benefits. I genuinely enjoy making myself available for people. Is it good that it’s sometimes at the cost of my comfort? Probably not. But in the end, it’s just something I do and that I’m very aware of doing. In my mind, I’m just being myself and don’t consider myself as too anything.

In the end, I think there really isn’t anything wrong with being “too nice.” If you take care of yourself and own what you do and sincerely feel the sentiments guiding your actions, you’re fine. There is a fine line between generosity and self-deprecation. I feel that as long as you understand that, you’re golden and…nice.