Once Jason Fried said, “The Fear of Missing Out is the affliction that drives obsessive checking of Twitter feeds, Facebook quotes and Instagram stories. If we read this quote for the first time, it may seem confusing, but it holds a simple truth – FOMO happens not because we are left out of things, but because we forget to focus on the present moment. FOMO isn’t just an acronym – it’s the fretful feeling where we think that everyone else is having more fun, we are missing something important or the fear that others are living better and we are left behind.“
What is fomo?
If we think about FOMO from a psychologist’s mind, it is an anxious feeling about the people around us who are receiving or are having better than us while we are not capable enough. Sometimes, it’s induced by a friend’s photo with someone else or a student achieving more than us. It belongs to both the present and past because the desire to belong and be included has always been a part of being a human.
When viewed from the heart rather than concepts, it also embraces the restless void, the little ache in your heart when comforting words are exchanged somewhere and we are never able to feel that comfort, which leaves emptiness with us. Sometimes it resides within us, uttering quietly as we watch others moving forward, achieving and growing while our efforts feel small and unseen. It’s about life quietly passing around while we sit in a corner and the mind is busy chasing what isn’t ours.
Fomo does not remain limited to one part of life – it quietly seeps into many spaces, it rises when we are scrolling through posts seeing flawless pictures, elegant outfits or celebrations we were not able to be part of. Even though the posts are only highlights, they make us compare our reality to their displays and leave us feeling left out, restless or not enough. In relationships, it shows up when our friends laugh without us, when people do not include us even if we care about them. It follows us into our ambitions and goals, watching our idol achieving milestones, gaining popularity or moving forward in their careers. It causes subtle anxiety and causes pressure, making it hard to appreciate our own efforts, differentiating motivation from fear-driven comparison. Beyond this FOMO also lingers in daily life, it is there in books we never read, the concerts we were never able to be part of, the wellness routines we failed to follow. All of these create an imagined ‘ideal life’ that never belongs to us. It constantly reminds us of what we are missing instead of allowing us to embrace what we already have .Fomo creates a restless void inside which gradually builds into an emotional heavy weight, creating a hollow feeling inside. An ache that grows when we are excluded from comfort, attention or progress, it pushes us into comparing ourselves – whether it is about beauty, success or conservations we were never part of. These comparisons turn into jealousy and quiet anger, especially when others get more attention and affection. It leads to stress, strained bonds and makes us emotionally distant from the people who genuinely care about us. We become physically present but emotionally absent as our mind is stuck on what we lack. The pressure is so much that we start questioning ourselves, “Am I enough?”, making our progress feel small and efforts invisible. FOMO increases our insecurities, replacing joy with anxiety and steals away the peace of the moment.
The more we try to escape FOMO, the more it reveals its own irony. The more we try to stay connected, the more disconnected we feel, and the more we compare, the less we see our worth. It seems we are chasing life, but life slips away with every glance at someone else’s happiness. The fear of missing out was meant to remind us what we don’t have, but instead it blinds us to avoid what we already have, and it showcases the harsh truth: in trying so hard not to miss the world, we end up missing ourselves. The dream of filling our lives with joy at the end leaves us restless, anxious and emotionally absent. We often forget that life is not a race to be everywhere but to be able to feel deeply where we already are. But the real question is, why does FOMO exist at all? The fear of missing out isn’t just about missing a moment; human beings always tend to feel the need to belong because, long ago, being left out could mean danger and isolation. Today, this fear shows up in a new aspect: people sharing everything on social media reminds us that we are not lucky enough to enjoy those moments. It is tied to our brain’s craving for validation – the invites, the sense that we matter. When we are not a part of something interesting, the brain releases a mix of unease and urgency. That’s why FOMO strikes when we are alone, making us unsure of our own choices. Over time this comparison and pressure affect our decision-making, confidence and most importantly our happiness, leaving us exhausted.
What iF WE FOCUS JOMO?
Instead of feeling the ache of missing out, if one begins to notice the moments around them, then a different kind of joy emerges, pulling us towards presence, gratitude and being able to be happy in our own lives. This is the essence which is titled as JOMO – The Joy of Missing Out, where we are able to value our own moments rather than feeling guilty or distracted by looking at others. The joy of missing out never asks to miss the adventures; it asks us to experience them fully without thinking that we are missing something else. It helps us to stay at peace in saying no to the never-ending comparisons and embracing what belongs to us. In practicing JOMO, we learn that it’s about finding joy even in the simple flow of our existence. It may be reflected in the decision of staying at home and binge-watching our favorite Netflix show rather than going to parties. We realize that the moments we once feared missing out on were often the ones we needed to live fully.
After knowing why FOMO grips us and then knowing about the calm JOMO holds, we need to learn how to respond with intentions rather than fear. I notice it in myself while scrolling through social media; an envious feeling comes in my heart when others seem to be living fuller and better lives, but what I learnt is you don’t have to let it control you. Mindfulness helps us to enjoy the present, a quiet walk alone, talking with a friend or keeping a diary to note down our own little moments, which reminds us of the richness we already hold. By focusing on what truly matters and then living with our own rhythm. So maybe missing out isn’t a loss at all; maybe it’s the first step towards finding what makes us feel happy and lively.
All in all, FOMO makes us feel how easily we can get lost – lost in comparison, in having what everyone seems to have yet practicing JOMO seems to choose presence over noise. We discover that it is not being present everywhere but feeling fully where we are. Gratitude, mindfulness and honoring our own style help us to reclaim our happiness. So, I ask you, “If everything is happening around us, and yet we are not fully present. Who is really missing out, us or others?”