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Friendship breakups are often so much more painful than romantic relationship breakups; the people you thought had your back suddenly abandoning you is such a deep kind of hurt. You feel like you’ve been punched in the gut and stabbed in the back.These breakups can leave you feeling broken and miserable, and you may think that you’ll never heal. Luckily, there are a few ways to help yourself get out of this dark place.

  1. Let yourself cry. As much as you just want to put on a brave face and move on, you won’t be able to until you truly release and feel your feelings. Holding in emotions will slow down your recovery process. Crying is very healing- find a comfortable place alone and just cry.
  2. Don’t blame yourself. Things happen, and friendships fall apart. A lot of people tend to blame themselves for being bullied or abandoned, but the truth is that those things say more about your ex-friends than they do about you. While it might take a while to realize this, the sooner you can the sooner you’ll be able to go forward.
  3. Focus on the people that are still in your life. You might feel completely alone now, but you really aren’t. Whether it’s parents, siblings, other friends, or kind classmates- people care about you. Reach out to them to get a little bit of extra support.
  4. Love yourself. Yes, these 2 words are daunting and may seem like an impossible task, but it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. After a friendship breakup, you feel unloved and unvalidated. The hard truth is that validation should be coming from you. Many recommend “faking it” at first- tell yourself you’re a good person, that you deserve better friends- one day you’ll start to believe that.
  5. Seek professional help. Talking to someone with professional training is very healing, especially if your breakup has begun to cause more severe symptoms that align with depression or things like panic attacks.
  6. Put yourself out there after you’re feeling better. The first few days of a breakup like this are bound to be awful, and that’s okay. Once you start to feel more like yourself, a great thing to do is try to make some new friends. Join clubs, talk to your classmates, go to dorm events, etc. Not everybody is as bad as your old friends, after all. There are a lot of amazing people out there that will treat you with the respect and love you deserve. Go get it.

Just remember: after someone has hurt you and left you, happiness is the best revenge.

Julia Spina is a sophomore double majoring in Psychology and Sociology at the University of Delaware. She is interested in studying mental illness and aspires to become a clinical psychologist. She enjoys singing, listening to Taylor Swift and emo music, photography, astrology, and skateboarding in her free time.
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