The brown and yellow carpet of leaves covering the footpaths of Dublin has been rolled up for another year. The first hit of fresh air is razor-like and evokes a sharp gasp of breath every time you step outside. The winter sun bows its head at 4:30pm, the day over before we realise it has begun.
Winter is coming as we enter week 3 of Ireland’s second lockdown, yet despite the cold weather my virtual journey to Santiago de Compostela continues! From the comfort of my Dublin home, I am walking the equivalent of the famed Camino de Santiago, 764km over 33 days. Crazy? The jury’s still out.
I have walked 338.49km in the last 14 days, and in shutting off the voice in my head tempting me to hit the snooze on my alarm every morning, I feel myself growing in character with each passing day. The pain and stiffness of the first week has dissipated and I can see the strength and confidence in myself building every time I look in the mirror.
This week I challenged myself to walk the circumference of Phoenix Park, Ireland’s pride and joy and the largest enclosed public park in Europe. I am a sucker for a good park, particularly at this time of year when the crunch of icy grass recalls the times when my sisters and I would race outside at the sight of the white blanket, stomping our names into the frost before the primary school bus arrived. There was a step in my stride as the sun rose over the Wellington monument, and with my 9am lecture in my ears and an apple in my hand I was well on my way.
I have always been an independent person, but as I walked around the park watching the runners and chatters and mammies pushing prams, I realised how inordinately lucky I am to enjoy my own company. The mental health crisis in Ireland has been exacerbated by the lockdown as many young people (myself included) were faced with a total removal of the social lives we had carefully crafted for ourselves, to be left to the mercy of our own thoughts. We are social creatures and have been socialised to place enormous value on the strength and number of our relationships.
People feel a pressure to constantly be in contact with one another, mindlessly refreshing feeds like rats in a Skinner box pushing levers in the hopes of a treat. While fulfilling relationships are very important, I can think of only a couple of my friends and family who would be comfortable to sit in a coffee shop for half an hour, no phone or company, alone with their thoughts. This is a gift I have nurtured and grown over years of solo-adventures, and as I walked through the gates of Farmleigh, strolling along the lakeside walk with a coffee in hand and the sounds of the birds in my ears, I was utterly content.
My Camino challenge has given me a new lease of life, a respite from the relentless readings, assignments, committee meetings and zoom calls that accompany final year of university. I’ve pushed myself to just keep going a little further, wake up a little earlier, to go beyond the limits I didn’t realise I had created for myself.
Yesterday I set off at 11am and walked from Ballymun to the Forty Foot in Dun Laoghaire to watch the sunset. Following the Royal Canal from Phibsborough past Croke Park and into the Docklands, and then from the Docklands to Sandymount, and onto Blackrock and to the marina in Dun Laoghaire, I knew that I could turn around or hop on a bus at any time. Nevertheless, I persisted, cartwheeling along sandy beaches and watching the brave souls dive off the Top Rock as the dim evening descended.
The meaning and value that I derive from exploring new places and relying only on my body to get me there is boundless, and as I edge closer to my final destination every day, I feel truly grateful for the opportunity to become better acquainted with our city and with myself.