Growing up is tough. Navigating through your pimple and dodgy haircut filled teen years to become a young adult who knows themselves is a big ask of anyone. However, growing up being referred to by a name you do not feel comfortable with or a body that you do not recognise as your own, is not a challenge many of us have to overcome.
College is often a place where people realise who they want to be and where they want to go in life. However, for one student the idea of realising exactly who they want to be, became a literal one and it happened in DCU.
Isabella Turner is transgender female. Until just over three years ago, she was a boy called Dylan. Isabella discovered she was meant to be a girl when she watched a video posted by Youtuber Gigi Gorgeous entitled ‘I am Transgender’ on December 16th 2013.
“I knew within a minute of watching that video. A lightbulb went off in my head and I was like, this is you.” For Isabella, being transgender is about letting the external reflect the internal. “Even though it’s such a personal journey, it’s all about how other people recognise you and how you slot into society. I wanted to slot into that female role.”
Telling her loved ones was extremely difficult for Isabella and telling certain family members was harder than others. “I was a lot more nervous to tell my mam. I had seen a documentary called The T word, (…) documenting the lives of young transgender people in America. I put the documentary on and I said ‘Mam, I need you to watch something for me.’”
The most common reaction to her realisation is one of concern as to how this would impact her lif.e This is the exact reaction her mother had. Emotional and confused, her mother asked “Why can’t you just be a boy and wear makeup? How are you going to get a job? How are you going to support yourself?”
Before entering DCU in 2015, Isabella had only told those close to her about how she felt and was still physically presenting as a male. However, it was in her first year at DCU that she would officially become known as Isabella.
“Coming to DCU was amazing.” Isabella said, “I was received as a girl. I was referred to as ‘one of the girls’. Everyone was really supportive. It was the first time I had experienced anything like that.”
For family, Isabella said the name change has caused some problems. “Sometimes my family still call me Dylan. It’s an ongoing battle. (…) It’s almost like mourning and I think for other people around you, they go into a period of mourning for the old you.”
While she is now physically presenting as female, becoming who she really wants to be has been bittersweet. “I never want to lose Dylan. He’s such a big part of my life and without Dylan, there wouldn’t be Isabella. In a way I kind of look at Dylan as someone I used to know, (…) like a best friend you’ve lost touch with.”
Thumbnail by Evan Kirby
Photo by Steinar Engeland