Sensitive Material: This article may contain a discussion of depression and/or references to other mental health disorders that may act as triggers. Continue at your discretion.
I have been handling my mental health since 2016 with the loss of my grandmother five days before Christmas. It was hard dealing with a loss like that during the holidays, having someone who raised me, and then learning how to deal with life without that person and learning how to cope with it. Music was a way for me to cope with it; I found different music artists during this and also at other times like during my car accident in 2021. I found that coping with music is a way for me to not just dye my hair and then give me a chance to sing in the choir. I was able to explore more options to hear different songs to sing for talent shows.
From 2016 to 2018 I listened to a lot of the same type of music. Since I was a music theater teen, I listened to a lot of Disney remakes of Newsies The Musical, Descendants, and Beauty and the Beast. I also listen to Khalid, Dean Lewis, XXXTENTACION, and Billie Eilish. I found during this time that handling a huge loss took a lot of me personally and that dealing with a lot of changes and also having to handle many firsts that following year without the one person who made holidays and birthdays feel special making them after their passing really hard.
From 2021 to now I can say my music-coping skills have changed a lot and also a lot of the time I do not go to songs with the gloomy side of my thoughts but make me think of the joyful side of what my life was. I can say my life has never been a ray of sunshine; it has been a sh*t show since I’ve been four. I listen to a lot of Morgan Wallen, but I know a lot of people who listen to songs they find on TikTok and say they don’t listen to a lot of that kind of genre of music. I also have one playlist on my phone called “TikTok Songs.” A couple of songs I have are Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley, Religiously by Bailey Zimmerman, Back to December (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift, and Cowboys and Angels by Jessie Murph. I think a lot of times, for example, Bailey Zimmerman, artists are founded on TikTok was an opener for Morgan Wallen for his tour One Thing At A Time, but he is also doing great things now and a lot of artists are doing the same thing.
I found my mental health doesn’t do as well when I can’t listen to a lot of music when I am studying, doing self-care like a facemask or just doing a late-night drive. I found if I can take time out of my day for myself for music, I do better with my mental health and that I don’t have as many hard days. I still have my hard days but I have fewer of them. I think when it comes to my own PTSD I handle coping with music or self-care. I never was a person who could just write in a notebook and be good or go for a walk but the music was the one thing that was there for me through it all.