Self-love and the concept of growing myself has been a goal I have had over the years. However, through all the hours spent working on myself through journaling, therapy, meditations, affirmations, and other self-love practices, I feel like I am in a place where I have a strong understanding and love for myself. While feeling this change manifest internally, I have noticed a number of external effects within my relationships around me. Here are some of the main things that I have changed about interacting and engaging with others.
Self-love taught me boundariesÂ
Once I began to truly understand the value in myself, I started to understand the value in my own feelings, thoughts, and limits. This allowed me to become more confident in expressing my own boundaries. These are personal limits that someone sets for themselves to protect their own well-being, values, and sense of self within a relationship. At first, I felt that having boundaries made me hard to deal with, that it was another thing that closed me off from relationships. But in actuality, it’s the main proponent of growing relationships. Learning to communicate what’s important to me to those that I care about has allowed me to develop a deeper sense of trust in the other person while also understanding if this is a beneficial relationship. A relationship filled with respect, compassion, and empathy allows boundaries to strengthen, whereas in relationships that have a difference in values and limits, boundaries reveal weakness. This can indicate that a relationship doesn’t align with your best interests, which has allowed me to realize the relationships in my life that were limiting me.Â
Self-love allows people in my life who make me feel loved
It wasn’t until I began to truly love myself that I felt like I had people in my life who felt the same. Throughout my teenage years, I was surrounded by people that I didn’t align well with who I am as a person. Once I started developing more self-love and establishing boundaries, I was able to disconnect from unhealthy relationships to make more room for people that make me feel so loved, valued, and respected. I am so lucky to be surrounded by an amazing group of people that allow me to feel safe, authentic, and share similar values, but I would have never gotten here if I held on to past relationships. Having so much love for myself allowed me to realize how important my time, energy, and involvement is and that it isn’t something that everyone is entitled to. Learning this has allowed me to invest in relationships that continue to uplift me and bring fulfillment.Â
Self-love lets go of judgement
Self-love has also allowed me to let go of judgement. When I am unhappy with myself, all I am thinking about is other people. I end up diminishing others to make myself feel better, yet through self-love practices I realize I barely do this anymore. When I am content with myself I have no reason to tear others down. I already understand my own success, so how does others being successful take away from my own. I no longer feel the need to compete because I know I am already valuable in my own way. This has allowed me to let go of my hater tendencies and realize that judging others helps no one, and in times I am being a hater, I really need to focus more internally. This creates a stronger sense of empathy within me because I am more focused on connecting with others rather than competing with them. By having this sense of self love I am able to be more loving to others that may be different from me and through that has allowed me to explore more of the world around me.Â
Self-love brings me peace and compassion with others
I’ve noticed that in times where I’m in touch and confident in myself I am much more forgiving, compassionate, and peaceful. I am so fulfilled and focused on my life that what others around me are doing doesn’t matter, unless I choose it does. Self-love has allowed me to realize no one has as much power over me than I do. How other people interact with or about me doesn’t affect me until I make the choice to do so. Just because someone says it doesn’t make it true. Anybody can say, think, or feel however they want, what I know is true in my reality is all that matters. Self-love has grown my self-concept and confidence where I am bothered by others outside of my chosen relationships. I am happy with where I am at, and that’s all that matters. However, I also began to realize that being imperfect is part of life. By leading with compassion in times of discomfort, embarrassment and failure has allowed me to become better at forgiving not only others but myself. Self-love allows me to live my most peaceful, forgiving, and compassionate life.Â
Engaging with self-love practices has transformed my life in so many ways. Yet still my life isn’t perfect. I have day days where I’m judgmental, self-conscious and an overall hater. And that’s ok. Life is about growth, not everything is going to happen overnight. Take small steps, be patient and forgive yourself when there are bumps in the road. Each day is a new opportunity to be your best self, so take every opportunity you can to live in self-love and reach your full potential.Â