I’m turning 20 this week, which means I’m officially leaving my teenage years behind. No more “teen” at the end of my age. It feels weird, honestly, like I should have something profound to show for it. So I figured I’d round up the 20 things my teens actually taught me. Some are deep. Some are dumb. All of them are real.
Things I Learned About Boys & Relationships
1. Don’t trust a guy who never did his own laundry growing up. He’s looking for someone to mom him, and that’s not going to be us.
2. You don’t ever need to settle. You know your worth, don’t lower your standards for a man you could find five of.
3. Attention doesn’t define your worth. Don’t let whether someone is giving you attention dictate your mood for the day.
Things I Learned About Friendship & People
4. Friends shouldn’t be hard work. All the friends I have now are people who chose me for me and have never asked me to change.
5. Letting go of toxic people isn’t something you should feel bad about. There’s no reason to feel guilty for doing something good for yourself.
6. It’s okay to not like someone but still be friendly—it’s not fake, it’s civil. It simply comes down to maturity. Not being able to be civil will hold you back from so much. And honestly? It’s embarrassing.
7. You don’t need to go out to make friends. The best people you’ll meet won’t be the ones you drunkenly invite back to your place to hang out.
Things I Learned About Family & Support
8. Family isn’t always your best support. It’s okay to say you trust your best friend with having your best interest over your sister.
9. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of being willing to grow.
Things I Learned About Taking Care of Myself
10. Don’t follow influencers’ skincare routines—they don’t actually use those products.
11. Working out for 3 hours isn’t actually effective.
12. A clean room gives you a clean mind. In order to focus, you need a clean space.
Things I Learned the Hard Way (aka Mistakes Were Made)
13. Separating colors when doing laundry is actually important. It’s not fun when your favorite white shirt comes out pink.
14. Don’t think you can get past Life360 without your parents finding out. They know everything.
15. It’s okay to drive slowly — you’re going to get there no matter what.
16. If you’re early, you’re on time; if you’re on time, you’re late.
Things I Learned About Growing Up
17. Don’t think you’re as mature as you can get—there’s always room for growth.
18. You don’t need all A’s to be an exceptional student. C’s get degrees, and grades don’t define you.
19. Snapchat is childish. I won’t give you my info if you ask for my Snapchat.
20. You’ll always look back and compare yourself, so remember in a few months you’ll be doing the same to the you now.
My teens were messy and beautiful and confusing, and I wouldn’t trade them. But I’m not sad to leave them behind either. Turning 20 feels like standing in a doorway; you can still see the room you came from, but there’s a whole new one ahead. I don’t have it all figured out (and I’m learning that’s the point). But I know more than I did at 13, and that’s enough for now. Here’s to the next 20 lessons.