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Wellness

Five Ways To Be There For Yourself

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Concordia CA chapter.

STOP!

            With the start of the new school year, we often tend to be overwhelmed by strong emotions.

 

WAIT!

            Remind yourself that YOU come first.

 

GO!

            Read these tips – hopefully, they’ll guide you to be more loving to yourself. After all, if we cannot be happy with ourselves, how can we deal with everything else?

 

Be in the present: Organize your week

 

laptop open on white desk with pink and golden accents
Photo by Arnel Hasanovic from Unsplash

Have you ever been overwhelmed with the number of responsibilities happening within one week? Turning pages on your agenda filled with future assignments, you wonder how you will have time for your friends, family, work and even yourself. Well, you aren’t alone!

Writing everything that needs to get done on your agenda is a task that some don’t like doing, but some enjoy it.. I believe that , planning your week ahead of time is one remedy for self-care. Why? Because it gives you enough time to anticipate what will be coming up as well as time to plan everything else.

You can find yourself finally relaxed at a girls’ night, enjoying your hobbies while being free-headed. Wouldn’t you want to be worry-free, fearless, and enjoying  pure blissful entertainment? 

 

Express yourself: Do not hide behind a mask

 

person standing on field facing a sunset
Victor Freitas via Pexels
I have always thought about going to a masquerade to get the opportunity to hide  behind a mask and become someone else. But, this bucket list idea of mine isn’t reality.

Being yourself and loving your every flaw is a sometimes difficult  and life-long task; it may seem more natural to hide your true colours due to fear of abandonment or rejection. 

However, how can you be truly loved and appreciated if you do not show how you feel and who you truly are? If it is too hard to express yourself verbally,  try to express yourself artistically — by dancing your pain away, painting your sorrows, writing your heartache down, for example.

In other words, find a way to express yourself because you cannot and should not keep a mask on. If you wear a mask for too long, it will either glue or slide off your face. Your real identity will eventually clash with the mask that you are hiding  behind. 

 

Treat yourself- Learn to be happy by yourself (I am still not there yet)

 

woman working on laptop while holding a mug
Pexels / bongkarn thanyakij
Picture yourself at home on your day off. What do you see? Are you making plans with others, reading a book with a cup of coffee, watching TV, working out?

Treating yourself does not mean going out and spending $100 on clothes — it merely means that you are taking time to do something you want to do. Everyone has different views on what “treating oneself” means. To me, it means watching a movie and hanging out with my friends.

I do believe that it is also very important to know your “flaws”. One of my biggest flaws is my fear of abandonment. I hate being by myself, I despise it, and I am sure that I am not the only one. However, you get to know yourself way more by doing activities that fulfill you and your wants/needs.

 

Surround yourself with positive people

 

two friends laughing
Savannah Dematteo

Would you keep trash in your house when it smells awful?

Definitely not. That should be the answer. Well, keep that metaphor in mind when you are thinking about the people that only seem to want to bring you down. Those people strive for your unhappiness.

You should never remain with negative people that have narcissistic tendencies — you need to drop them as soon as possible before it is too late. In my case, I have dealt with narcissistic people too many times in my life, and I am still dealing with the repercussions. Dealing with them often feels  like putting blocks of Legos together while being blindfolded.

It may seem difficult to find people that only want the best for you, and when they come your way, you may not believe them, but know that they are there to support and help you build yourself back up.

 

Do not EVER compare yourself to others

 

girl lounging relax 1
Kristen Bryant / Her Campus

 

Telling someone to stop comparing themselves to others can be easier said than done.  I admit, I often walk down busy streets and compare myself to other girls by their looks. 

Knowing that comparing myself to others only hurts me, I have decided to try to put myself in the other person’s shoes because I do not know what they may be going through.

If I can give you one advice, it would be to look at yourself first and foremost. If you are unhappy, change your ways! Comparing yourself to others is bringing you more harm than you think. 

 

Leila Rhazi

Concordia CA '22

Leila, born and raised in Montreal, is a Concordia student studying in Teaching English as a Second Language. She has always been considered as a hopeless romantic and an avid lover of lists-making,scrapbook elaborating, coffee dates, and movie watching. Having reached a plateau in her life, she decided to take on new challenges by starting her journey in blog writing and volunteering. She believes to finally have found her voice and would love to have you discover life through her big brown eyes.
Kheyra King

Concordia CA '21

Kheyra King is a Montreal-born city girl studying English Literature at Concordia University. She is the Campus Correspondent for Her Campus at Concordia and the Vice President of Recruitment of Delta Phi Epsilon. She loves coffee dates, traveling and pasta. You will definitely catch her studying at the local Starbucks or Webster Library.