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Heartbreak is an essential part of the human experience. With love as a guiding force in the universe, we cannot help but get hurt by this power that can fill our bodies with warmth one day and rip out a piece of our chest the next. As scary as it is to think about, everyone will experience this pain at some point in their lives. One day a person who was once your best friend will be ripped out of your grasps, leaving you feeling like you lost your other half. This feels like a gunshot wound to the chest that just cannot seem to heal no matter how hard you try. However, each day it will get easier. Each morning the drops of pain will have leaked out in your sleep until one day, it will be gone completely.

Here is a guide to getting over heartbreak. No nonsense. Just love.

Embrace the tears.

The first day you must cry until you have no more tears. This is the first step on the path towards healing. You must feel all of the emotions. Don’t ignore any of them because that will just cause trouble down the road. Feeling the emotions without guilt is the way to get in touch with yourself. You are living your life for no one but yourself — you must remember that.

Do not contact your ex.

As much as you might want to snap them, text them, or call them, do not do it. Do not write them a letter. Do not email them. Do not stalk them on social media. They are not worth your time nor your energy. “Out of sight out of mind” is what you must remember. If you stalk them or contact them, this will just deepen your wounds. This is not what you want.

Get dressed.

This may seem like an impossible task. You might just want to sit in your bed under your blankets, endlessly scrolling through TikTok as a way to distract yourself. Although there is definitely a time for this, it is not in this step. Get dressed. Put on your hottest outfit. Look at yourself in the mirror and realize your beauty and worth. How embarrassing, someone lost you!

Pick an activity that you love and do it.

Whether this activity be cooking dinner for your roommates, going shopping, or going to a covid-safe yoga class, have no guilt and do it. You are a princess who deserves to be pampered. In doing this, you will be living for yourself — this is key.

Get back into the world.

Whether this be downloading Tinder and going on a few dates or asking one of your friends to set you up, focusing your attention on someone new and realizing that you can make a new, deeper, better connection is essential. Through each relationship, you learn more about yourself, so the last person who ripped out your heart was really just helping you become a better person.

Remember that the key to healing is loving yourself.

You cannot learn to love others without loving yourself. Recognize your beauty, your brilliance, and your unique personality. Embrace your quirks and show them off to the world. If someone does not appreciate them, they are not meant for you. You are worth the world and deserve someone who recognizes that. Go out into the world with the attitude that you are a treasure who deserves to be cherished.

The secret to getting over heartbreak is finding the love for yourself so no one can steal it.

Bella Druckman

Columbia Barnard '24

Hi! My name is Bella Druckman, and I am a freshman at Barnard majoring in English and Human Rights. I’m from Chicago, but love the big city of New York. I love to bake - especially cookies - and share those goodies with my friends. When I’m not taking photos, or crafting, you can find me fighting for social justice or spreading my kindness through the world.
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