I love my friends, and I am very grateful that I have surrounded myself with people who uplift me. Having a good support system is so vital to oneself. If I am going through anything, I know who to call, who will listen, and who will give me great advice. I hope everyone can find people like that in their life. Even though I have great friends and a great support system, I am not codependent on them. There is a huge difference between enjoying someone’s company and needing them to survive.
Over the last year, I have come to a major realization. It is that I rarely see people, especially people my age, out doing things alone. Furthermore, I also rarely go on someone’s social media page and see them on a vacation or day trip alone. In this day and age of social media it is easy to get FOMO (fear of missing out). Whenever I first came to college, I beat myself up over not making friends immediately or “finding my people” within my first semester. Along with friends, it is also easy to get caught up with the idea of a significant other. Whether it is friends or a significant other, I have realized that a lot of people feel the need to be with someone else 24/7.
Even though all of this doesn’t sound bad, how can one foster a self-love relationship if they can’t even be alone? How can one want someone else to treat them well when they don’t treat themselves well? How can one expect dates when they’ve never taken themselves on a date? I introduce you to the solo trip. Yes, you heard that right!
In my definition, a solo trip is when one takes a vacation or day trip by themselves. Ever since I got out of a long-term relationship, I have made a conscious effort to be alone with myself. I figure that if I want someone else’s love, attention, and affection, I need to give it to myself first. These solo trips are a way to get me out of my comfort zone, sort out my thoughts, and experience new areas. It took me a long time to realize that just because you are alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. I feel as though the main reason people go places with others or only eat at a restaurant with others is because they are uncomfortable to be alone. But, who told us this? Who made being alone an uncomfortable thing?
I am becoming more and more confident in myself because of these solo trips. This is because I have proven to myself that not only do I love myself enough to take me on dates, but I am comfortable doing it. It has also made me make connections and talk to more people. Whenever I go to a restaurant or store, I usually don’t talk much to the staff because I am more focused on who I am with. But, when I am there alone, I am more open and conscious with the people I am around. Another plus to going on solo trips is being able to come and go whenever you want. The only one who makes the rules is you so you are able to stay however long you would like. There’s no one else to please so if you want to go to a coffee shop, you can go. If you want to shop, you can shop. If you want to eat, you can eat. I also enjoy listening to my podcasts on the way to my destination (*cough* *cough* Kurtis Conner’s Very Really Good) and some of my favorite music (*cough* *cough* Spotify: cicisurf).
I have taken a few solo trips this year and plan on taking many more. They have all been day trips so far. I have gone to Wilmington, NC and Charleston, SC which make the perfect trip from Coastal Carolina. Some of my favorite places in Wilmington are Spill Coffee Co., TacoBaby, Fairy Circle Consignment, Edge of Urge, and all of the other shops downtown. Some great stops in Charleston are Record Stop, Lodi Coffee, Brown Fox Coffee, the downtown markets, and all of the shops on King Street. Both Wilmington and Charleston have a Whole Foods and a Trader Joes which are great places to go for flowers, cute pastries, unique groceries, and a wide selection of wine.
I’m not telling you to never hang out with your friends or be single for the rest of your life. Surrounding yourself with a community is so important. Although, it’s important to be independent and learn how to navigate places alone. So hop in the car and drive somewhere. The freedom and confidence you gain from a solo trip will make you want to take them all the time.