Graduation is quickly coming. For some seniors, this means excitement and a fresh start as they begin pursuing the career of their dreams. They’ve studied for this their whole undergraduate career, and now it’s time to bring their talents to the real world. For others, graduation dawning closer means the alarms going off in their heads only grow louder. They have no idea what they want to do or where they want to do it. Given the pressure of people constantly asking college students, “What do you want to do after graduation?” it is no surprise that this is an impending thought on the mind. The future is a big, scary place, and the world wants to know exactly where you will fit in it.
As someone who is very type A and loves having an exact plan, I have struggled a lot this year because I am definitely one of those seniors with alarms in their head. Some days, they are quieter, but on many they are so loud that it is all I can think about. I was always jealous of those people who have known for a while what they want to do. They took the right AP or advanced classes in high school to get ahead in college, and after college they have internships or jobs lined up in their field. It seems like life is made. I have wanted to do everything throughout my college career from being a writer, a lobbyist, a wedding planner, and law school just to name a few (yes, there are more, and yes, they are equally as random). Having so many possible directions and not being able to commit to one has been a source of anxiety, stress, and flat out fear for me. I’ve sometimes wondered what was wrong me. Why don’t I know what I want to do? Why don’t I even have a preference at this point? I must have a screw loose somewhere.
And then it hit me. I needed a break from this pressure, for it was consuming me and preventing me from enjoying my life. So one day, as hard as it might be, I decided to let go of my type A/ultra-planning personality as much as I could. I made a promise to myself to, first, tell myself it didn’t matter that I have no plan – or even potential plan – and, second, to try and actually believe it. And you know what? I still believe it and hold it to be true now. F*ck what everyone else says. Who in the world decided that knowing what your career would be right after/before graduation was one of the most important things about college? Because it’s not. We put so much unnecessary pressure on ourselves simply because we as a society have conjured up this norm. That is why the question about jobs after graduation comes up all the time. That is why I felt like a black sheep failure for being so all over the map with my career interests.
The truth is, if you ask your average person who is solidly into their career if they always knew they’d do what they’d do, the answer is no. So many jobs exist that we don’t even know of. And the people we haven’t yet met will also play a huge role in what job we end up with. With this knowledge, I have been freed from the chains we ourselves manifest that have held me hostage for far too long. I am not certain about my future, but I know that I want to help people and do something that makes me happy. I know how romanticized and cliché that is, but I am willing to work hard as a waitress or some other mediocre job to pay the rent while I figure things out. I know that there’s something out there from me that I might not even know exists. And as hard as that was to accept, I now embrace it and am comforted by this.
Life is not a race to your career, so let’s stop treating it like one! I did, and it has been one of the best changes I could make this year. Because of it, I am thoroughly enjoying my last semester in college. I no longer worry, vent to my friends, or shed tears over the fact that I feel lost. I am not lost, I am simply wandering in a direction I am not completely sure about, but I sure as hell am enjoying it. And that is what college is about – not finding your career, but enjoying the journey.