You Are Enough

In today’s climate, being a female continues to get more difficult. With the definitions of beauty continuously being redefined and the criticisms from society, the natural woman can oftentimes seem like it’s just never enough. Studies have shown that 7 in 10 girls feel as though they aren’t good enough and don’t measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school and relationships.


In a recent airing of NAACP Image Award recipient for outstanding talk series The Real, the four co-hosts, Tamera Mowry-Housley, Jeannie Mai, Loni Love, and Adrienne Houghton, all discussed this issue while mainly focusing on the girl-on-girl shaming. Here’s a clip from the discussion!


Time magazine’s Megan Gibson stated, “That women are behind some of those attacks doesn’t come as a surprise…”  In the American society, though progress is being made, women are already seen as inferior beings. Because of this, we shouldn’t be tearing one another down by the color of our skin, the way we wear our hair, what outfit we had on, etc.


Though I’m not condoning girl-on-girl shaming, the reason why one allows the negative comments to affect them is because of their inability to love themselves. Self-love is an issue that men and women have trouble dealing with, including myself. I used to believe that I was too thick to look good in pictures, too tall to find someone to like me, my personality was too white to fit in with black people, and my skin tone was too black to fit in with the white people. Because I didn’t find the beauty in myself, I allowed myself to be hurt by others when I was told that I needed to lose weight. I wouldn’t wear heels when a comment was made about my height. I also changed my personality when I was around certain people. I got so good at faking it that those who were closest to me didn't even notice I was unhappy. Though I don’t always feel 100% confident overall, I have grown to love who I am physically, mentally, and emotionally, and I am unapologetically me.


I tell my story, not for sympathy, but to hopefully encourage another girl like me to realize that they shouldn’t allow men, women, family, friends, or anyone define them as a person. You have to be happy with who you are before anyone can be happy with you.


Whether it be girl-on girl shaming, societal shaming, or self-shaming, the tearing down of women needs to end. No matter what situation you may be going through, you are enough. Your curves are enough. Your curls are enough. Your brains are enough. Your dreams are enough. And don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise.