This year, because of assorted circumstances, I was forced to take a hard look at how I spent my time and my lifestyle, and I had to think about what was and was not working for me. I spent college doing the things that I should do; I did research in my department, joined clubs that looked good on my resume and put lots of time into networking events. I was lucky enough to get a job offer when I came back for my senior year, which meant that I got to really consider how I wanted to spend my last year of college. I had a lot of negativity and stress early in the semester, which prompted my evaluation of what did and did not work for me. I found myself investing time in passion projects for the first time in a very long time.
I’m a computer science student and will work in that field after I graduate. This semester, after having to scale back my computer science related commitments, I interned at a publishing firm (books have always been my passion), learned to watercolor and spent time cooking. I struggled with reconciling how I wanted to be spending my time and how I felt like I ought to be spending my time. Note that there was no real benefit to my doing other things, besides avoiding the guilt that arose at not being “productive”. These months have given me the respite, space and motivation to focus on self-care, to be joyful and to be intentional about where I spend my time.
Passion is a rare gift, and it is so easy to overlook our passions in the face of overwhelming obligations, but I can say that it is worth it to yourself to put in the time to do the things that make you feel good, that you’re excited to do. It’s maybe an easy thing to say, but if you can make the smallest space for passion and exploring yours, you can see big results in how you feel and how you recharge and focus your time.