Navigating situationships can be tricky, but clear communication and setting boundaries can help you find your way.
So, you’ve met someone you vibe with, you’re hanging out, you’re texting a ton, but the labels? Nonexistent. The boundaries? A little blurry. The “are we dating or are we just friends with benefits?” question lingers like that awkward pause in a conversation you both try to ignore. If this sounds like your current situation (aka a situationship), don’t worry, you’re not alone. Trust me, we’ve all been there—maybe even more than once.
Situationships are a confusing part of the college experience, especially when you’re juggling exams, social life, and that looming question of whether you’re in a relationship or just… in limbo. But it doesn’t have to be this way. If you’re caught in the middle of trying to figure out where things stand with someone, here are some tips for surviving—and thriving—through the awkward phase.
First, communicate. It’s key to be open and honest about how you feel. Have a conversation with the person and express where you’re at emotionally so you’re both on the same page.
Next, set boundaries. If things are blurry, setting clear boundaries can help you understand each other’s expectations. Whether it’s about texting, time spent together, or exclusivity, defining what you both want is crucial.
Finally, don’t rush it. Situationships often take time to figure out. Focus on having fun, building trust, and let things unfold naturally. If you’re both meant to be more than just a situationship, it’ll happen when the time is right.
Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all rule—just trust yourself and take it one step at a time.
1. Don’t Rush for a Label, but Don’t Stay in the Dark Either
I know, I know—everyone wants answers. You want to know if you’re exclusive, if they see a future, if you’re “dating” or if you’re just someone they hang out with when it’s convenient. But the thing is, rushing for a label isn’t always the answer. Sometimes, you need to just be present and let things unfold. Don’t stress about defining it too soon, especially when you’ve only been talking for a little while.
That said, don’t let it drag on forever either. If things are feeling super undefined and you’re losing your mind trying to read their texts for hidden meanings, it’s okay to have a conversation. Communication is key, and if you’re looking for clarity, it’s better to ask early on than stay stuck in that weird gray zone.
2. Set Boundaries for Yourself (And Stick to Them)
A lot of situationships fail because there are no boundaries set from the start. Maybe you’re cool with casual hangouts and occasional flirting, but deep down, you want something more. Or maybe you’re just enjoying the freedom of it all. Either way, it’s important to understand what YOU want from the situation, and then make sure you stay true to that.
If you’re getting too emotionally invested but they’re not showing signs of wanting something serious, it might be time to take a step back. If you’re all in for something casual and they want to take things slow, be honest about it. It’s all about respecting your own feelings and not letting things go farther than what you’re comfortable with.
3. Be Aware of the ‘Breadcrumbing’ Trap
Breadcrumbing is that super frustrating thing when someone leads you on without fully committing. They’ll text you sporadically, make vague plans, or flirt just enough to keep you hooked, but nothing ever seems to develop beyond that. It can feel like you’re in a constant state of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
If you feel like you’re being breadcrumbed (and trust me, you’ll know if you are), take a step back and evaluate the situation. Are they genuinely interested in getting to know you, or are they just keeping you around as an option? Don’t waste time on someone who isn’t giving you the attention or commitment you deserve. You deserve someone who’s ready to be clear about their intentions, not someone who’s just sending you texts to pass the time.
4. Focus on Your Life, Not Just the Situationship
It’s easy to fall into the trap of putting all your emotional energy into trying to figure out someone else. Trust me, I’ve been there—checking your phone every five minutes, wondering if you missed a text or if they like you as much as you like them. But here’s the secret: You’ve got so much more to offer, and so much more to do. Whether it’s focusing on your studies, hanging with your friends, working out, or diving into a new hobby, fill your life with things that bring you joy.
The more you focus on building your own life, the less you’ll find yourself constantly wondering what that other person is doing. Situationships can feel draining when you let them consume all your energy. Keep that in mind, and remember that you have other goals besides figuring out someone else’s feelings.
5. Know When to Walk Away
Situationships can be fun at first, but if you start feeling like it’s not serving you or you’re constantly second-guessing your worth, it might be time to let go. Sometimes, people don’t want the same things, and that’s okay. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but remember: your happiness shouldn’t be on hold for someone who isn’t giving you the same energy. Don’t be afraid to walk away if you feel like it’s not going anywhere.
At the end of the day, a situationship should bring more positive vibes than negative ones. If you’re starting to feel bad about the whole thing, take that as a sign to reassess. You deserve someone who knows what they want and can give you the respect and clarity you need.
6. Trust Your Intuition
It sounds cliché, but honestly, your gut knows what’s up. If you’re feeling uneasy about where things are going, or if something feels off, pay attention to that feeling. We often ignore our intuition because we don’t want to face the truth, but it’s a powerful guide. If you feel like something isn’t right—whether they’re not being fully transparent, or you’re starting to feel more hurt than happy—don’t ignore that. Your feelings matter, and sometimes it’s just a matter of trusting yourself enough to make the call.
In Conclusion: Situationships Aren’t Forever (Unless You Let Them Be)
Navigating the tricky world of situationships in college is no easy feat. But with a little self-awareness, some honest conversations, and a solid understanding of your own wants and needs, you can survive this weird in-between phase and come out the other side stronger (and possibly even wiser). Whether the relationship turns into something real or fizzes out, just remember: You’re in control of your own happiness. So don’t settle, keep the boundaries clear, and know when to walk away. You’ve got this.