We’ve all got that one person we’ve built an entire romcom with in our head based on one
conversation we had with them. It’s a harmless gesture you make, but then it gradually gets
intense to the point it feels real.
Why we create them
As humans, we think about the “possibility” of someone rather than what’s happening in present
time. Sometimes we do this to fill a gap that’s not being fulfilled with them. The thought of
creating fake scenarios of this person can be safer, as we’re portraying someone to be how we
want them to be in our minds.
Signs you’re doing it
Sometimes you’ll imagine dates or conversations that actually never happened in the first place.
The bare minimum of their actions will have your brain spiraling and creating more instances of
what you wished happened in real time.
Why it’s seen as a problem
Creating different scenarios about your situationship can be a problem because then you build
certain expectations of them that they never aligned with in the first place. If they don’t do the
actions you portrayed in your head, it can make you feel down or disappointed that what
they’re doing in present time isn’t what you hoped for in your head. It can make you upset that
the person you imagine them to be isn’t actually being portrayed in person, which can make you
feel very upset.
How to stop yourself from creating imaginary scenarios about someone
The first step is to acknowledge what they’ve actually done for you rather than making the
assumptions of what you wish they’d do for you. Create boundaries within yourself to not let the
bare minimum make you think they’re the one. Communicate clearly with the person rather than
expecting them to do something you want them to do. Learn how to focus on yourself and what
you want to accomplish versus a person who isn’t trying to “accomplish” you.
Remember it’s normal
At the end of the day, it’s normal to daydream and build on your imagination about someone.
However, don’t let these “imaginations” get to you and expect your situationship to fulfill what
you may want them to do in your mind. Remember to focus on yourself and your goals, as you
are the prize.