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Why are authors so obsessed with romanticizing toxic relationships?

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Casper Libero chapter.

If you are the kind of person that uses the internet and enjoys reading romance, you have probably read a contemporary romantic book, filled with a relationship that doesn’t seem healthy. Unfortunately, these kinds  of books are the easiest to be found nowadays, when the topic is a novel. But why is it so common to find different types of stories that sell the same distorced and toxic history of a relationship? Why are authors, more and more, writing a terrible romance scenario in the XXI century, a time in which abuse awareness is so common between young people (mostly girls)?

Social Media as the new bookstore 

Nowadays, when you need information or a suggestion  about something, you just need to search on the internet, and you will find whatever you need. Consequently, the same thing happens when someone wants to read a new book, once it is only needed to search the type of book you are looking for, that will appear a dozen reviews of books that are similar to the one that you are looking for. According to a research with two hundred people, 62,2% answered that the majority of the books that they read were discovered by them  on social media in general, and 20,9% of these are concentrated only on booktok (a name given for the community of literary content creators on TikTok, that post their opinions and share come indications of books that they like). 

For instance, when we analyze social media in general, it’s obvious that the social platform that is standing out, since a couple of years from now, is TikTok, more specifically, the “booktok”, when the subject in question are books. Now, you must be thinking that this is the best way to find the perfect book for you, and it can really be, if you choose wisely what you will read. But be aware that the greatest part of the literature works that are shared on the platform are about romance or even a fantasy/dystopia book (always having a couple portrayed). As the perfect example is in  the research done by us having 69,9% of the answers being exactly those genres when asked which style of books do the participants read the most. Unfortunately, most of these stories represent an unhealthy relationship with a dysfunctional couple, and surprisingly (or not?), they are the most popular and buyed books shared on the platform. But why does that happen? 

The fine line between literature and cinema 

In the history of cinema, the times that a famous book became a film are endless. Notably, they all have a similarity: the toxic couples that are represented in them. This line between literature and cinema always happens when a book makes a notable success, and then a director reunites with the author and creates a televised work, being either a film or a series, that happens to be an even bigger success for the public. 

The perfect example is the Colleen Hoover success, mostly with her work on It Ends with Us, that became so popular that it is being turned into  a film now, and a very expected one. Colleen, in general, is a very good example of an author that represents, in her stories, bad romantic relationships scenarios, and has too many sales , only  in 2022 8,6 millions of copies of her books were sold, more than the Bible. Colleen Hoover reaches a very young public, that it’s something to worry about, since these teenage girls are basing their future romantic relationships in a non healthy book that propagates a distorted view of what love is. 

Furthermore, other good examples of popular toxic books that became a cinema work are: the Twilight, After and Fifty Shades of Grey series, The Kissing Booth and Through My Window, a spanish book. What worries the most in these examples is that every single one of them has more than one film in the series, and most of them were a success on the screens too, not only at the paper piece.

Why are toxic relationships so successful?  

The representations of toxic relationships in books are usually about an aggressive man and a naive woman, but why does that kind of representation make people so interested in consuming this content? The patriarchy created a stereotype of rude, toxic and abusive men, society has embraced that kind of trait in them. So, when women read books about it, they don’t feel bothered because we all normalize it because of their presence in our reality, families and friends circle. That makes a lot of women feel “okay” when they read this kind of content and they don’t realize the problem in the narrative due to their reality  in which some men probably act the same way.
With all the popularity toxic books are bringing  especially to teenage girls, it is right to say that this content can make them think that horrible romantic relationships are normal at such a young age. These kinds of books influence girls in a dangerous way, that they could live traumatic experiences trying to have the same romance through the books they read. 

It’s a mirror of society itself, and how the world romanticizes toxic men to our circle. That’s why authors love to write those terrible romances, like Virginia Woolf said: “books are the mirror of the soul”, we only read what we see in ourselves and our reality, that’s why these kinds of books are bestsellers, society will always think love has to be toxic.

  Book recommendations

Now that we have discussed toxic books, it’s our duty to recommend to you five  books that have gained our heart with their romantic stories and happy endings. 

Love hypothesisAli Hazelwood (+16) 

Olive is a PhD student that tries to prove to her best friend she is dating someone. But the lie has gotten too far when she sees herself in a moment of panic kissing the first guy she meets. The guy is none other than Adam Carlsen, a young professor and known for his demanding personality. Both Olive and Adam agree to make a deal and fake a relationship, but how far are they gonna resist each other? 

HeartstopperAlice Oseman 

Nick is a popular rugby player, while Charlie is a shy, anxious boy. They study at the same all-boys British school and become friends. While their friendship was growing stronger, they had to deal with their social differences, and how Nick’s friends treated Charlie. But it looks like their friendship is turning into something more serious. 

Red, White and Royal BlueCasey MQuiston (+16) 

Alex is the son of the president of the United States, while Henry is the prince of the British monarchy. They have to fake a friendship so the media wouldn’t suspect the “son of America” and the “future king” can’t stand each other. But how long will they be enemies? 

To all the boys I’ve loved beforeJenny Han 

Lara Jean had a lot of crushes in her life, writing to each one of them a letter telling her feelings and hiding all the letters in a box. But suddenly, the box is gone, and she realizes all the boys read their own letters. The next day, her best friend and neighbor tells her he read his letter, Lara Jean lies and tells him she doesn’t have feelings for him anymore because she is dating Peter Kavinsky (he also has and read his letter), her way to convince her neighbor was jumping onto Peter and kissing him. Peter agrees to fake a relationship with her. We all know Lara Jean loves to write letters to express her feelings, but will we be able to witness her living them with Peter? 

Shooting my life’s scriptPaula Pimenta 

The Brazilian book tells Fani’s story, a girl who dreams of being a movie director, and has a  best friend, Leo. Fani loves movies and watches them with Leo all the time. She has the most comfortable life, until everything changes and she’ll have to stay a year in England because of an exchange program her parents want her to do. Will Fani and Leo’s friendship stay the same throughout this year?

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The article above was edited by Isa Mucilo.

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Sarah Pizarro

Casper Libero '27

18 years old, journalism student at Cásper Líbero.
Maryanna Arison

Casper Libero '27

Just a journalism student at Casper Libero and a girl passionate about life, books, food and writing!