The digital era has undeniably defined a new chapter in human history. Our social lives have shifted from the physical world to the online one — where we meet new people, get job offers, build and end friendships, and constantly share our thoughts and moments with our so-called “followers.”
It’s no coincidence that apps like Instagram, TikTok and X are called social media. They’re spaces built for sharing — places where one person posts with the intention of being seen by many. And the more our presence in these platforms grows, the more our sense of connection, validation and even identity becomes tied to them.
When love goes online
Naturally, romantic relationships weren’t left behind. What was once a private affair between two people has now gained a public layer — one that demands to be shared. If it’s not posted, it’s not assumed, and therefore, it’s not “official.”
Still, there are different ways to make that online debut. Some prefer to drop subtle hints, while others go all in. In other words, there are two main ways to launch your love: the soft launch and the hard launch.
Two ways to post your heart
A soft launch is a subtle way of saying you are taken, but not so sure of the stability of this blossoming feeling. So, you post pictures hinting at one another, but never fully exposing. Holding hands, mirror pics with hidden faces, meals and drinks being shared, a flower bouquet.
Now, a hard launch is a bomb thrown on the table. No warning, no preparation. A picture of the two of you, consented to post, revealing full face, identity and user.
In some cases, it is a process. The couple begins soft launching each other to, after both are sure they are into a serious commitment, hard launch.
The digital audience in your relationship
However, it is impossible not to notice how a third pillar is brought into a relationship primarily composed by only two lovers.
The worries about the best, most aesthetic and engaging way to publicly announce you are dating takes away your focus from your own life, redirecting it to the possible responses and reactions after the announcement. Not only, the digital gaze can influence how you feel about your partner and even yourself.
A relation of extreme need for validation is emphasized with the amount of comments, views and a growing obsession with likes and attention. For the sake of pleasing your watchers, you take decisions and actions you wouldn’t genuinely assume. It is almost an undeclared imposition.
Between performance and reality
The point is that with social media, our lives became a performance. Nothing is done from us to us, our focus is always showing it to others. Everything we do is posted, every silly detail becomes public and a never-ending cycle of vicious habits is strongly reinforced.
Stepping into a new relationship and revealing it is a delicious process. The excitement is indescribable, both because of the feelings taking over you and also, the response to those who find out.
And it is obvious that, now, it is impossible to project reality with no internet. It is already part of our day, infiltrated into routines and social structure. We have molded our lives around it and there is no going back.
It is sweet to post your love, we just cannot let the appealing digital atmosphere inebriate us from real life. There is a lot to be lived off-screen.
So, what is left for us to do is decide whether we want to shockingly expose who we are dating, or create a fun little game with our followers in this engaging mystery to find out who the secret lover is. And, of course, don’t forget to live our lives to its fullest and realest too.
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The article above was edited by Isabella Messias.
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