The life you want isn’t going to just simply show up around the bend and fall into your arms. But, your life is present, right in front of you, begging for you to acknowledge it. The second you recognize that it’s there, it’s going to take off running with the will and stamina to take you where you want to go. So, chase it! You have the skills, you have the talent, you have the knowledge, and you have the time! You have it all because you are the center of your dreams. If you don’t have it… if you’re missing something… go get it! Run fast with an unrelenting will for success. It can be hard – you’re going to have to wake up earlier, stay up later, eat to fuel your body and treat yourself with the attention you deserve. This all might sound really intense, and that’s because it is. If you’re craving an uprooting of your life, transformation, and revival of your dreams, it may feel uncomfortable at times. But, I am fully convinced that the change has to start within. The things that you speak over your life become the reality of your circumstances.
If you’re still here, I’m going to go ahead and assume that you are willing to dive into the most challenging and rewarding journey of your life. With that in mind, I want to show you the three statements, or dare I say, mantras, that I have been repeating to myself for about three years. These statements have allowed me to build and sustain healthy habits, heal relationships, and truly build a life that I am so proud of! I’m going to break each statement down into which area of life they have been most applicable for me, but they’re so universal and I encourage you to try them all out and see how they fit best for you!
Fitness & Wellness: “You deserve to show up for yourself”
When I first started working out, I struggled to understand what people meant when they said things to me like, “It’s about consistency!” I loved the concept and the sentiment, but I could come up with excuse after excuse for why I didn’t have time or I didn’t feel like getting movement in each day. Excuses are a very real thing, and they hold so much weight in everyone’s life. Everyone has them and when you choose to use them, they will get you out of dodge without fail.
So, how do you stop listening to them? Here’s when I made the switch over to the dark side and realized that everyone had been right all along, that it truly is about being consistent. I heard someone say, “You deserve to show up for yourself.” When you hear it for the first time it might not sound that crazy or life-changing, but let me tell you – when I started using this as an anthem of my fitness and wellness journey, all of the things that I was doing in an effort to succeed in that area became an act of self-love. It was no longer a chore or something I was obligated to do. Saying, “I deserve to show up for myself” made not showing up for myself unacceptable. I decided that taking time out of my day, whether that meant waking up earlier or going back out later to move my body, suddenly became something I was worthy of, not something that I was forcing myself to do. We pour our time, money, and energy into so much throughout the day, so why don’t we do the same thing for ourselves? You deserve to show up for yourself. You are the only person who can take that power back and pour it into your own cup!
Relationships: “I can only control my actions”
You probably have a ton of relationships that you are trying to juggle every single day. Between family, friends, dating, etc. there are so many people and connections to cherish. I have spent a lot of time white-knuckling these relationships and trying to keep from failing at making them stay afloat or being absolutely heartbroken every time someone disappointed me. This statement, “I can only control my actions,” has allowed me to cherish all of my relationships for what they are, but hold them with gentle hands. I have to work on it, and some days are easier than others, but when you can say the things that you know you need to say, act in a way you’re proud of, and be yourself, then you are controlling your actions. Who chooses to stay in your life and who chooses to leave suddenly becomes something that is blissfully not in your control.
This statement has also made it possible for me to choose when I need to walk away. If I am being mistreated or I am no longer happy, I can repeat to myself, “I can only control my actions.” As a result, regardless of how the other person chooses to conduct themselves, I give myself the opportunity to decide what is best for me! I am not a passive participant in the relationships that I maintain and uphold. By claiming this as a mantra, I take responsibility and accountability for the role I play in each type of relationship I have!
Lifestyle: “Who do I want to be right now?”
This one is a question, and it’s a good one! Maybe you struggle to get out of bed in the morning when the alarm yanks you out of sleep, maybe you want to stop spending money on things that aren’t serving you, or maybe locking in for homework feels impossible. I implore you, in those moments, to ask yourself “Who do I want to be right now?” For me, it’s all about putting the ball in my own court. Like I said earlier, excuses are real! For that reason, I have to eliminate the outside influences that make me want to press snooze, swipe my card, or scroll through TikTok. When you ask yourself that seemingly, very simple question, it’s suddenly in your hands and your hands only. That’s a super scary thing to willingly invite into your life, but when I tell you it has caused me to claim a new identity, I mean it. I wanted to be a woman who stepped into each day with purpose and joy. A woman who knew what she wanted and how to get there. So, whenever I’m faced with a decision that is directly or indirectly impacting the life I am trying to build, I question who I want to be at that moment. It requires you to face the reality that those choices are not simple, they are complex and speak to your identity in one way or another. That question also allows you to immediately become the best version of yourself. The version of yourself that you think isn’t possible until you graduate, until you get the job, or meet the right person. You get to see and know yourself in all your wholeness, in all your worthiness, and in all your coolness right now! When you roll over in your bed to turn the alarm off and you ask yourself, “Who do I want to be right now?,” my hope for you is that your answer is one that ignites something within you that sends your feet racing for the floor. I hope you respond with, “I want to be someone who lives boldly,” “I want to be someone who works hard,” and “I want to be someone who leaves a mark.” Whatever it might be when you pose this question for yourself, be sure you have some answers that feel good and capture the essence of the life that you want to live. That way, when you do get out of bed, or you don’t spend the money, or you turn in the assignment, you have stepped into the person you are dreaming of!
These statements are not a fix-all or the end of the journey towards changing your life, but they’re a start! You don’t have to just exist in this life or as the person you have been up until this moment. If no one has told you before, please allow me to be the first, you are beyond capable. Stop selling yourself short or cutting off the bloodline to the best version of yourself and your life! You deserve to show up for yourself and you can only control your own actions. So, who do you want to be right now?