Human connection is one of the most important things in life. We grow, we share thoughts and have discussions, we laugh, we cry, we feel, we form opinions, and learn things about ourselves, all through interpersonal connections. We need it. However, we do not need it all the time. In fact, I argue that time with yourself is just as important.
We live in a culture that seems to expect us to constantly be surrounded by others. So much so that being alone is often stigmatized. However, I think this stigma comes from a place of conflation. Confusion between the idea of being alone and being lonely. Being alone gives you time to sit with your thoughts, reflect, focus on your goals and hobbies, and focus on what matters most to you. Being alone is one of the best things you can do for yourself, and actually doing things alone can be even better. In fact, doing things alone is one of my favorite forms of self-care, and I think everyone should be doing it. Here are some of my favorite solo activities in SLO to try out next time you’re feeling bored or need some time to yourself.
1. Thrifting
Thrifting is already one of my favorite activities, but going alone can be so fun and therapeutic. My favorite way to go is to bring a fun little coffee or matcha to fuel myself (preferably from Nautical Bean) and drive/walk over, listening to my current favorite album (which is, of course, Charli XCX’s new album Wuthering Heights). Once I get there, I like to browse with my earbuds in, continuing the car music, or listening to a podcast or audiobook.
Some thrift stores I would recommend in the SLO area include Fred & Betty’s, Achievement House in Morro Bay, Thrifty Beaches, Calico, and, if you have a little more time on your hands, of course, there’s the tried-and-true Goodwill Bins. SLO’s thrift selection is always expanding, and there are so many other gems to go to as well. Try it out! I promise, you’ll have a great time.
2. Beach day
While it may be February right now, that doesn’t mean much for San Luis Obispo in terms of beach weather. Next time the sun’s out and the temperature is above 65 degrees, get yourself over to the beach, even if all of your friends have class. Honestly, even if the sun isn’t out and the temperature is below 65º, put on some layers and head over anyway.
One of the most special pieces of advice my dad has ever given me was to simply sit and listen to the ocean. Sitting before something so massive and powerful reminds you that there are bigger things in this world than you, and you are doing just fine. I have used this advice many times to work through major life events, process change, and even just to relax. When meditation is less necessary, picking up a burrito and going at peak UV to tan while listening to my favorite podcast is also a perfect method.
Remember: Not everyone lives as close to the ocean as we do, so you shouldn’t have to wait for all your friends to be free to go!
3. Reading in a coffee shop
Taking yourself on a coffee date is a wonderful activity, and one of my favorites as well. However, I specifically suggest reading in a coffee shop because, let’s be honest, taking yourself to a solo meal or a solo coffee can get boring, and when we get bored, we tend to immediately pull out our phones. That is exactly what we don’t want to do here. By bringing a book and going with the intention of reading, not only does it give us something to do on the solo coffee date, but it also builds a habit of reading for leisure and not just for class.
Reading, no matter what genre or level of critical acclaim, is one of the best things you can do for your brain. Reading relieves stress, increases empathy, and stimulates your mind in a unique way. Aside from this, it’s just plain entertaining. As young adults, many of us feel like reading is a chore because, for the past decade or so, we have been reading in school. Building this habit can break that feeling and make reading fun again.
If you don’t know what book to read, I recommend The Idiot by Elif Batuman for something relatable, Just Like The Movies by Lynn Painter for something romantic and fun, or Dark Matter by Blake Crouch for something more mysterious and thrilling.
4. Going to the movies
Let me just say this: cool girls keep theater culture alive.
I. Love. Going. To. The. Movies.
There is something so special and nostalgic about actually going to the theater instead of watching a movie on your couch, in bed, or on your laptop in the dining hall. I don’t want that. I want to get cozy and take myself to the theater, pick out candy, get a tub of popcorn, and watch a new movie. Going to the movies is almost always viewed as a group activity, but I don’t think it necessarily needs to be. This is arguably the least daunting and most comfortable solo activity, too, because no one can see you and you’re not supposed to talk anyway.
In this economy, movie tickets sometimes feel totally out of budget, which can make going alone not feel worth it. My advice is to sign up for Regal Crown Club (free!) and go to Regal Arroyo Grande every Tuesday for discount tickets! Personally, I am excited to go see Wuthering Heights (hence my previously mentioned current album obsession).
Doing things alone can seem scary at first, especially if you have roommates or friends with whom you typically always do things. When you start doing it, though, it feels less and less daunting and opens you up to a whole new level of possibility. While these are some of my absolute favorite things to do alone, you can actually do anything alone, and try anything you want to try without waiting for anyone else. Whether all your friends are busy or you simply need some alone time, give one of these activities a try and see what you take away from it.