Every year, I make some new resolution that I lose almost immediately and forget I ever even made in the first place. This year, I decided that I needed to make some big changes and that my resolution was going to be to cut out the negative people in my life and to try to live more positively over all. In theory it sounds fairly easy, but cutting people out of your life can be very hard.
In the past few years, a lot has happened in my life to cause me to question who is really there for me and if I am making the right decisions. I’ve felt that I complain too much and that I’m never truly happy with how my life is going. And part of it stems from some of the people that I surround myself with. Deciding to cut them out was difficult. How do you tell someone that you don’t feel like being friends with them anymore because they are not helping you move forward in life, but are rather hindering you? There is no easy way to do it.
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The first person that I cut out was my best friend from high school. Him and I met our freshman year, and now both of us being juniors in college, this means that I ended a seven year friendship. The horrible thing is though, I felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders when I did this, and I had no regrets. He blamed me for all of the problems he caused and made me feel like everything he did wrong was in some way my fault. I couldn’t live with a friend like that in my life. And when I ended the friendship (as nicely and in the least hurtful way I could) he told me that he “would be there when I was done.” In that moment, I knew that I had without a doubt made the right decision.
Sometimes losing someone that is such a major part of my life leaves me feeling empty and like there is a hole that I need to fill. So as I have decided to leave more and more people in my past, I am now filling this hole with the love that I have for all of the new people in my life that I am grateful for. Since starting my most recent job about 8 months ago, I have met many coworkers that I now consider life long friends. The friends that I still have from high school and my friends from college also have been supportive in my life, helping me grow into the person that I am so excited to see blossoming.
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But I am not simply relying on these people to help my personal growth- I am relying on myself as well. I haven’t always looked at the positive sides of all situations and I feel as though that has hindered me from maturing as I’ve grown up. Lately, I’ve tried to find a positive aspect to every situation, even if that means it’s a lesson I’ve learned to help me later in life. I know its only 3 or so weeks into January, but I already feel a lot happier and as though my life is finally heading in a direction that I’m happy with. I keep joking around with people by saying “I’m absolutely thriving,” but it is actually true. I am thriving. I have amazing friends, I love my job and my coworkers, I’m happy with how school is going and that I’m learning so much, and I’m excited for all of the new things that are waiting just around the corner for me.
So miss me with that negativity because I’m leaving it behind in 2019 and I’m only moving up from here.