It's Okay to Not Be Okay

I’m no life expert, but I am a college freshman nearing the end of her first semester with some insight to share. At this point in the year, many of us have started getting into the swing of things. We’ve gotten used to our classes and our workloads, we’ve started joining clubs and have hopefully found some friends you click with. We’re trying to balance our academics with our extracurriculars/ social life, as well as our physical health with our mental health. This is no easy task and sometimes it takes longer for people to find this balance and to truly be happy with their lives. I, for one, think I have found a pretty decent balance, I just need to figure out how to better fit homework into that equation.

                                                                         Photo courtesy of Pixabay

Although I’m taking classes that I enjoy and I’ve made friends that I love, I sit here, finding myself in some sort of “mental funk.” I believe that I’m at this point in the semester in which my routine, though busy, does not excite me or spark passion within in me and that’s a very upsetting realization. I find myself constantly wondering why I’m feeling sad or discontent when I have so many good things in my life. I have no actual reason to be feeling this way, I just do. It got me thinking as to whether other people might be feeling this way as well and as far as I’m aware, I’m currently the only one, but then again, I haven’t asked very many people. Every time I’m asked “How are you?” I always reply with “Fine” or “Okay,” because I know that saying “Good” would be a lie. If I were to tell them that I was feeling down, I know that they would ask me what was wrong and in all honesty, I don’t know, and I am at peace with that.

When I first started feeling this way, I began to shut down and started pushing my friends away, but then figured that even as an introvert, being lonely would not help me this time around. I came to the conclusion that I just needed to talk to someone and explain my frustrations to. Even if you feel like you might not have friends that you are completely comfortable with, I highly suggest seeing someone who makes you feel relaxed. If you feel like you need more than just amateur advice, I would recommend going to the psychological services we have available on campus, in fact I know that I will be making use of them pretty soon.

                                                                         Photo courtesy of Pixabay

Another way to help myself in small ways, is to look forward to at least one or two things each day. Since I currently am not finding very many things in my life exciting or stimulating, this exercise should help to ground me and get me to remember that I’m doing so many things that I should never forget to be thankful for. I have been given the ability to go to college, and for so many people that just isn’t their reality. Of course, I also don’t go around treating my emotions like they are not valid and like I don’t deserve to be feeling them, but they are and I do. I am glad that I have the ability to sit down with these emotions and explore why I’m feeling this way. Even if there isn’t an answer, I know that there are many things in my life that will continue to make me happy once I find a purpose again and get out of this “funk.” Patience and understanding are the keys to all of my troubles, all I need is the time to allow myself the ability to feel the way that I do.

If any of you are feeling a similar way, just hang in there. I hope that someday soon, you will find yourself feeling truly happy again, no matter how stressful life might be sometimes. Until then, just know that your emotions are heard and validated and that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.  

                                                                         Photo courtesy of Pixabay