These past few weeks I have been searching for a new perspective on all the change that has been happening in my life over this past year. I am now accepting the fact that situations are more intense in the moment, and it is far more important to sit back and analyze what is going on instead of reacting with feelings you might just be experiencing in the moment. Of course, this is much easier said than done. I am learning that change can be overwhelming, exciting, and scary but it is necessary for growth in all aspects of life.
In the beginning of this year I was desperate for change and was determined to get my foot in the door in the medical field. Growing up, I planned to go straight to a four year with hopes to become a physician’s assistant. I think I fell in love with the idea of becoming a PA instead of the reality of what the job actually consists of. I was blessed to be given the opportunity to work as a medical scribe because it was a real eye opener. Within a week of working as a scribe in the emergency department side by side with physicians and physician assistants, I quickly realized that both the job and the lifestyles of these professionals was not what I wanted for myself. The thought of changing my entire career plan gave me so much anxiety and fear for the future because I had no other careers of interest. After having a few meltdowns, I decided the medical field was still where I envisioned myself and needed to gain more experience. I landed an amazing internship as a Health Scholar at St. Johns Hospital, and found my passion for anesthetic nursing right away. Through this entire experience I have accepted that having a shift in my life plans is okay. This change of plans has allowed me to gain a better understanding of who I am as a person and what I want out of life.
More recently with the guidance of my parents, I decided it was best for me to live on campus for this school year. My hometown is only thirty minutes away from campus, so commuting was not a big deal. However, living at home and attending college was a combination that was holding me back from growing as a young adult because I was not forced to step outside my comfort zone. It is only a few weeks into the semester, and I am already seeing such a drastic change in who I am becoming. Being away from home and my family has given me a lot of alone time where I have been forced to enjoy my own company and become content with myself. Living on my own away from what feels comfortable helped me recognize that I am not happy nor satisfied with the person I was. I am doing a lot of soul searching to find out what kind of person I want to become and how I can improve myself as a daughter, sister, scholar, and partner.
Change is one of the hardest aspects of life that we all struggle with, but it should not be viewed negatively. Sometimes it is hard to see things clearly and all we need is a slight change in perspective.