I can’t describe self-love in a better way than this: it’s like the girl in school you want to be friends with, but for some reason, it never seems to work out. She’s funny, nice, and overall seems like a good friend to have. But when you try to make plans with her something always gets in the way, whether that be conflicting schedules or a friend who doesn’t seem to approve of her for whatever reason.
I’ve had this relationship with self-love for quite some time. Living in a society that thrives off of hating your body, personality, and essentially everything about yourself, it’s challenging to find something to like. This year I’m trying to find the good in myself, however excruciating the search may be, because I know it’s there. If you relate to me in any way, I invite you on this journey. We can find our good together. Here are a few things I’ve tried that seem to help:
I’ve started talking to myself. I know it sounds weird (really weird), but please keep reading. Although it’s not always easy and I sometimes don’t feel up to the task, I talk to myself at night when I look in the mirror. I stare at my reflection and say everything I like about myself out loud. Again, it can be difficult to come up with even one thing I like about myself. So, I start small. I work my way up from my feet to my head. For example, I’ll say “My feet walked me to my classes today. That’s pretty cool.” Then I’ll get to my legs, my stomach, my arms, my face, and so on. To put it plainly, compliment yourself. You need to hear it.
I tune out toxicity. Have you ever been eating and your friend starts talking about how they haven’t eaten all day? How many Instagram or TikTok posts have you seen of girls with tiny waists and toned legs? Tune it out. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but it’s crucial to remember that 1. you should not believe everything you see and hear and 2. all bodies are unique and valid. You are not your friend or that random girl holding a smoothie bowl in an Instagram post. Therefore, comparing yourself to them is simply a waste of time and mentally exhausting. Go eat something.
I listen to Meg. This one is probably my most important tip. Sometimes I don’t have the energy to look at myself in the mirror or catch myself in a pit of self-loathing after spending hours stalking social media models. But I will NEVER turn down an opportunity to listen to Meg Thee Stallion because she NEVER fails to make me feel like the hottest bitch in the world. You can substitute Meg for Doja Cat, Flo Milli, or Nicki Minaj, but Meg makes me feel the most confident. To each their own.
I’m not yet at a place where I completely love myself. I have a lot of bad days in which I simply want to stay in all day and listen to Rex Orange County for seven hours straight. But I’m working on it. I’m taking it one day at a time, and I hope you do too.