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C of C | Wellness > Mental Health

How I Learned to Love Myself (Sort Of)

Lilith Yurkin Student Contributor, College of Charleston
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College of Charleston Contributor Student Contributor, College of Charleston
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at C of C chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

I, unfortunately, started out freshman year like a lot of teenage girls: friendless, unmotivated and depressed. And let me tell you, things did not get better. I went from being an AP student to getting on academic probation, didn’t make any friends, and remained depressed.

My sophomore year though, I wanted to make a change. I was going to come back to Charleston a new girl! (Spoiler: I did not). After a semester of the same old ruts of sadness and anxiety, I realized something vital: you have to make actual changes in your life to feel better. Weird, right?

To me, yeah. I always thought that happiness would just come to me because that’s what I thought everyone else did. So, I waited. And waited. And waited. And nothing happened. I did little things sure, but not actual lifestyle changes. Then, I started taking control of my life. I started making an effort to eat healthier, which is hard in college but I’m making it work. I started going out for walks and taking the long way to the library. I take fewer naps and drink a lot of tea and water. I’m trying.

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So, is it working? Sort of. I still get sad and anxious, and I still don’t have a lot of friends. I have bad nights, bad weeks even. But things are better. I don’t hate myself anymore. I enjoy the little things, usually. My life hasn’t become 100% perfect by eating healthy and exercising, but it sure has gotten a lot less dark.

Lilith is a junior English and Women Gender Studies double major from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. She plans to get her masters in English and eventually a PhD. But until then, she can be found pretending to write at Starbucks or napping.