Dear University,
I think we both need to ‘take a break’. I know, it may seem sudden, random, out-of-the-blue even–but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t valid. What started off great, has entered a downhill slide. I’ve met someone else, and they’ve promised me a vacation. By the ocean no less.
No obligations or expectations. No deadlines, assignments, or exams being held over my head. Just clear skies, blue tides, and the half-forgotten threat of sunburn.
I just want to feel the sand between my toes and the wind whipping my hair into salt-encrusted knots. Who knows, maybe once I get the wanderlust out of my blood I’ll come back to you. But, CMU, you need to let me go for now.
I’d love to say the cliche, ‘it’s not you, it’s me’… but that would be a lie. It’s definitely you. Four years is quite the commitment, but I’d done it before so I thought that it couldn’t be that difficult. At least this time I got more choices out of the arrangement AND the promise of a brighter future afterwards. Maybe I was lying to myself.
Most days I love your fast-paced, dawn to dusk schedule. It keeps me fired up and moving, not wasting a second of the day. Now? I’m the remnants of a candle, all half-melted wax and a barely present wick that’s seen better days. Here, I’ll spell it out for you. I am burned out. I’m exhausted. I don’t notice a difference between when I do sleep and when I don’t because I am tired either way. I need a break, a spring break.
Please don’t be angry with me, or of the mind to shun me for these antics. I may be an old soul, but the thrill of adventure still sings to my heart. I will not be gone forever, just for now. Just for an hour, a day, a week… I will be back.
Forgive me,
A Weary Undergraduate