A Letter to the Girl Who’s Too Hard on Herself

To the Girl Who is Too Hard on Herself:

I am writing to you today to tell you that it is okay. It is okay that you are not at the same level you were last year-- physically, mentally, emotionally. It is okay if you are struggling, everything will be okay.

Stop judging yourself based on other people’s success. Everyone is on a different timeline. Just because yours seems slower, harder or longer; does not mean your success is not coming. Things take time.

You are not to blame for other people’s shortcomings. Let me repeat that again, because you need to hear it. You are not to blame for other people’s shortcomings. That boy whose eyes once shone like the sun when he looked at you- yeah that one- you are not responsible for him tossing you to the side like last year’s trend that is not so trendy anymore. That friend who you swore would be by your side on your wedding day; you are not responsible for her deciding your friendship was not worth missing time spent with her partner.

For those nights you spent in bed crying, looking in the mirror and not recognizing who you saw, stop beating yourself up for your reaction. Forgive yourself. You deserve to let go sometimes. You do not have to be in control every moment of your life. Instead, feel your emotions. By feeling, you can overcome.

Do not get confused. It is important to be tough on yourself to succeed. However, it is not important to beat yourself up over every misfortune in life. Life will have ups and downs. Find the balance between being tough-minded for your goals and just being straight-up too tough.


A Girl Who Gets It