Spring break is just around the corner, so it’s time to get bikini body ready. In order to make sure you are looking your best, you might consider hitting the gym and saying no to your late night booty call, Domino’s. As you begin working through your packing list and finalizing those travel plans, keep these tips in mind to get ready for your bikini bod.
1. Make a green kale smoothie.
2. Throw out the smoothie and go get yourself some Dunkin’ Donuts. Since “America Runs on Dunkin’,” that’s half of your cardio workout, so you can drive there.
3. Now that you’ve had a great breakfast and are feeling energized, it’s time to hit the gym.
4. Once you arrive at the gym, make sure you take your time to fill up your water bottle, go to the bathroom, find the perfect Netflix show to watch, and say hi to every single person you’ve ever met.
5. Do your thing, whatever routine that may be. You made it to the gym; that sheer fact alone is all that really matters.
6. After your workout, you jump into the shower. As you are shaving your legs, you realize that you should probably get every single hair removed from your body. It’s time for a wax.
7. Except the only problem is, waxing hurts. So you decide to only get the important and necessary areas waxed, i.e. all the places where the sun don’t shine.
8. You bring a friend for moral support. Since you are the one doing it, she decides she wants in on this once-in-a-lifetime experience that only lasts a month.
9. While holding each other’s hands for support, you realize you didn’t pop enough Advil. It is worse than a hangover on a Sunday morning.
10. You power through this novel experience and then cry once you realize you went too early and will have to go back again before spring break.
11. Still, your fresh wax leaves you excited for spring break, and you’ll need a bathing suit to show off your super smooth skin.
12. You go online and order a variety of bathing suits.
13. Go ahead and spend $15 on shipping to make sure they arrive on time.
14. Once they arrive, you realize one bottom only fits one butt cheek, and the other is so big that it wouldn’t even fit the boobs you wish you had.
15. You ransack your room and find last year’s bathing suits.
16. The old suits will have to do; they will definitely contrast nicely with your far-from-glowing suntanned skin.
17. You make a packing list, which includes your entire wardrobe plus 16 bathing suit pieces, your winter coat, the ugly maxi dress your mom said looked cute, and all the sunscreen in the drug store.
18. You realize your winter coat may be a little excessive and decide to throw in another pair of wedges.
19. The extra pair of wedges makes the bag heavier than you are, and it’s apparent that you are definitely over the 50-pound weight limit.
20. You decide to dump everything out and start over.
21. After finally packing only the necessities, you are ready to get on the plane.
22. Once you arrive at your destination, you put on a bikini. And whether you actually got that second wax, rubbed Jergens all over your body so you had a nice base glow, hit the gym or found a stylish new bathing suit – it doesn’t matter, cause you are rockin’ that bikini.
At last, you are bikini body ready.
Special thanks to guest contributor, Kirsten Fitch