The best thing we can do for ourselves is be exactly who we are.
I was scrolling through Substack last week when I saw a quote of interest: “Who are you when nobody’s watching?” I considered the words for a second.
For a long time, I was consumed by being a certain type of person. I dressed how I thought I should, I pretended to like hobbies I really had no interest in to impress others, and I wasn’t being true to myself. Luckily, I was able to dig myself out of that hole, and I’d now say I’m a version of myself that I find to be genuine and true to me. But I know others still struggle with this.
In a society where you’re constantly being told what to like, what not to like, or what to do with your life, it becomes easy to slip through the cracks and become hyper-aware of what everyone around you thinks of you. We’ve all struggled with this at a point, whether we want to admit it or not. But in order to be the happiest versions of ourselves, we have to be okay with being different and embracing all of the things that make us individual.
It’s easier said than done, though, right? But once you’ve mastered it, you’ll never go back. You’ll fall in love with the version of yourself that is truly authentic and real, and you’ll attract all the good energy in the world into your life as a result.
First, you have to spend time on your own.
You can’t be unapologetically you if you’re constantly with people, relying on them to help you make decisions. Don’t get me wrong, friendships are some of the most enriching experiences of our lives. However, you need to be able to be on your own. It’s crucial to unlock the premium version of yourself.
Here’s my challenge for you: start by going to the mall on your own, or maybe spend time journaling in a coffee shop. Go to a yoga class by yourself. There are so many opportunities for self-growth, and spending time with yourself is the number one way you’re going to love being who you are and lean into that.
Nowadays, we don’t spend enough time treating ourselves or really giving ourselves a break from the difficulties of everyday life. Maybe you finally buy yourself that new purse you’ve been eyeing, or you give yourself a break from work or studying by treating yourself to a pastry or coffee. Whatever it is, make sure it’s something that makes you feel replenished. It can be done on your own terms; it doesn’t have to be something extravagant.
Second, surround yourself with the kind of people who make you feel the most like yourself.
For a long time, I was associating with people who were so deep in their own self-hatred and insecurities, and it really started to bring me down. If they felt negatively about themselves, what was stopping me from also feeling that way about myself? It became a dangerous cycle to be in.
It was when I found people who made me feel comfortable with leaning into my niche hobbies and interests that I really felt authentic and genuine in my life. In the wise words of my best friend, “I don’t care what they think!” When you stop being with people who dim your light and instead start hanging out with those who appreciate that unique quirk you have, you’ll notice your mindset shifting, and you’ll feel much more comfortable being yourself.
Lastly, be okay with where you’re at. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you probably won’t find this self-transformation attainable to complete overnight. But, with time, and by spending time by yourself and with those who respect your goals, interests, and individuality, you’ll look back and see how important it is to be authentically you.
I encourage you to reflect on how you’ve been walking through life. Ask yourself this: have you been living a life the younger version of yourself would be proud of? Are you on a path to achieve your dreams? If the answer is no, you can make the change. I believe in you, and if you’re reading this, you’re already on your way to becoming the best version of you.
Let this new era of you start now!
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