Compared to high school, college seems like big group activities — dining hall dinners, study groups, roommates, club meetings, and group chats — dominate everything. While all of that socialization is fun and important, nobody really talks about the slightly intimidating, but amazing experience of doing things alone in college.
At first, doing things alone feels illegal. It’s hard to walk into the dining hall by yourself, especially when you feel like everyone is staring at you (they are not). You go on your phone, attempting to look busy. But after a while, a new realization hits: Nobody cares about what you are up to, and being by yourself is enjoyable.
This is also one of the fastest ways to become independent without even realizing it. You start making decisions because you want to, not because that’s what everyone else decided on. You can go get coffee when you want, study when you want, and leave when you want to shop without waiting for someone to get ready for 45 minutes.
There is something very peaceful about doing your own thing. Some of the best moments of my day are my walks to and from class. Of course, I don’t mind catching up with a friend at the same time, but I love putting in my AirPods and listening to whatever music fits my vibe. Small things like these become weirdly therapeutic.
Being alone is not the same thing as being lonely. Sometimes it’s the only quiet moment you get all day.Â
Doing your own thing makes you more observant and confident. You learn how to move around without relying on other people as some sort of “social shield.” This has forced me to talk to new people and make new connections, which is useful.
So yes, go out with your friends, join clubs, go to events, and be social. But also learn how to take yourself out to lunch, or go on a walk without inviting anyone.
One of the most underrated skills in college is independence, and that’s something you take with you after graduation.
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