“Change your confession.” My mom is always singing this tune, but what does it really mean?
As college students, it’s easy to fall into an endless rabbit hole of rejections and self-doubt. Whether it’s internships, friendships, or even that class comment you thought was great (but wasn’t received that way–embarrassing, right?), impostor syndrome creeps in, making you wonder, “Why me?” But it’s important not to let these thoughts take over.
Negative self-talk can turn your mind into a harsh and hopeless place when left unchecked. And honestly, the world already dishes out enough criticism—your inner voice shouldn’t add to that. You spend all day in your mind, so it must become a space of compassion, growth, and forgiveness.
In a chaotic world, there’s so little we can control. However, there is one thing that we absolutely have control over, even if it doesn’t feel that way: our self-talk.
Positive self-talk sometimes gets labeled as “delusional” or “unrealistic”—something my mom would strongly disagree with. In reality, it’s not about pretending everything is perfect. It’s a healthy process of grieving, finding closure, reassessing, and ultimately growing. It’s about rooting your self-worth not in success or failure, but in what you learn and who you choose to become.
When you “change your confession,” you shift your perspective. You reclaim power from difficult circumstances and place it back into your hands.
The process is simple, but meaningful. It is okay to grieve setbacks, no matter how small. You can’t “girlboss” your way out of feeling real emotions, so let yourself feel them fully.
Granting yourself forgiveness is important and often overlooked. When we fail, it’s easy to fall into the “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve” mindset. While reflection is useful, it’s more powerful when it comes from understanding that we are human and flawed—and that’s okay.
Reassess with kindness, not criticism. Ask yourself: What did I learn? What will I do differently next time? Let love and curiosity lead, not shame.
Growth doesn’t have a universal timeline. It looks different for everyone. As my mom says, “The yardstick should only be yourself.”
So, how do you start shifting your mindset toward growth and resilience? You flip the narrative.
One of my favorite tools is introspection, whether through walks, journaling, or art. When met with rejection, failure, or the unexpected, resist the urge to dwell on the negatives. Focus instead on what’s still good and still growing.
Practicing gratitude is powerful. On days when you feel insecure, list what you love about yourself. Say affirmations out loud, even if you don’t fully believe them. They’ll take root with time.
Instead of saying, “I can’t,” try saying, “I am capable of achieving what I desire.” Don’t get stuck in the worst-case scenario spiral. If the worst happens, you’ll adapt. If it doesn’t, you’ll be glad you didn’t waste your energy worrying.
Also, do good for others. A kind word to your barista, volunteering, or just being present for someone—these acts not only uplift them but help restore your sense of purpose and connection. Being kind to others teaches you how to be kind to yourself.
I’ll be honest—writing this as a college senior, on the brink of my next chapter, I’m saying all of this as much to myself as to you. Life doesn’t always go the way we plan. But just like when you miss a turn while driving, you don’t give up—you reroute. You find another way.
Give yourself the grace to grow. Make the best version of yourself your destination. Because the real joy isn’t in reaching perfection—it’s in the pursuit of becoming.
Change your confession, and you’ll start to change your life.
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