When you go from seeing your friends every single day for nearly four years to not seeing them at all, it is certainly a tough transition for every college freshman. It feels as if a fundamental piece of your life has been zipped and stored away somewhere mysterious, peculiar, and cold. At once, you’re thrown into an entirely different social scene, and you have to start from scratch again.
Although freshman year is an exciting time to meet new people and form another set of lifelong friendships, it can also be daunting and a bit worrisome. Suddenly, you’re juggling new friends while trying to maintain relationships with the old ones, which can get exceedingly difficult when they are trying to solidify new friendships at their college as well.
But all is not lost — it is possible to cultivate a lovely circle of close friends in college, while also keeping in touch with hometown friends. The key to this elusive puzzle is…effort. This is most certainly easier said than done, considering the circumstances that can throw off any college student’s life in the blink of an eye. However, like in any relationship, it’s impossible to expect something bigger out of a friendship than what you’re putting in. The saying, “you get what you give,” rings particularly true in this case of maintaining long-distance friendships.
All of this theoretical advice is great, but I’m not here to preach to you. Below are some tips on how to successfully stay in touch with those close pals you want to keep close for life.
- Take Advantage Of Modern Technology
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Fortunately, we live in the age of technology that allows communication anywhere, any time, and at your own whim. Long gone are the days of waiting for a letter or hanging on to the telephone for a call that can hopefully last as long as you’d like. Now, especially with social media, you can be as involved in long-distance friends’ lives as you’d want, even going as far as following what they’re up to through their Instagram or TikTok posts.
A great way to establish a casual and organic line of communication is to simply text your friends funny thoughts or happenings throughout your day. I like to do this in the form of a random text rant or a TikTok I thought they’d love. Additionally, having FaceTime calls after a long day of classes and clubs can be a great relief from stress and allows both of you to sit down and really invest in a conversation that goes beyond pleasantries.
- Be Consistent
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Though increasingly difficult as the semester progresses, a great way to really show someone “I miss you” or “I’m thinking of you” is to be consistent in your communication. It can be so easy to only call or text when you urgently need advice on something a college friend can’t help with, or when you want to rant to someone who would definitely understand. However, it’s crucial to not only reach out when you need support, but also to be there to share a pleasant conversation and lend a compassionate ear to a friend who’s struggling.
In my experience, I’ve always been very open about my emotions and the first to reach out to my hometown friends when there’s an obstacle in my life, but that’s not the case for everyone. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to be invested in the lives of your friends, even if they are miles and miles away from you. This can come in the form of regularly asking them how their day was, and when you’re on the phone, pressing about what’s been going on in their lives. Even if they say everything’s been great, in my experience, with just a little more curiosity, they will reveal struggles that they haven’t been able to get off their chest yet.
- We’re All On New Journeys
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As life-altering as college can be, it probably won’t break up healthy, years-long friendships, no matter how far you are from each other. The strength of your friendship is not always determined by how many times you text or call a week, and you’re probably spending much more time with new friends than talking to the old ones now.
Take a deep breath and remember that everyone, yourself included, is on an exciting and scary journey that forces you to break out of your shell and the old mold of life. Making wonderful new friendships is in no way abandoning or betraying your old ones, because there is always room for more love in our lives.
So, if your hometown friend isn’t returning a call immediately or hasn’t been in touch, give them some grace; they are juggling a new world, too! Similarly, know that life moves on, and it’s your job to move along with it.
break out of your shell and try new things!
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