In the words of our favorite hipster band, Rex Orange County, “Loving is easy.” I am always telling my friends and my family how much I love them. I hype them up all the time. But, why is it so easy to compliment our friends for the same things we insult ourselves for? If loving is easy, why is it so hard to love yourself?
I’ve asked myself this question my entire life. I couldn’t understand how someone like me could love themselves. Contrary to Rex Orange County, loving yourself isn’t easy. It’s a long journey with a lot of obstacles. Unfortunately, the journey doesn’t have an end destination. Learning to love yourself is a never-ending process. I’ve learned many things along the way that has helped me.
The very first thing you need to do is to surround yourself with positive energy. For a long time, I followed thin, traditionally beautiful women that lived a luxurious life on social media. Every time I would open an app, I would compare myself to people I would never be like. It sent me into a spiral of self-hatred. I hated myself so much for not being like these photoshopped and curated images.
Now, I follow women who look like me and love themselves for it. It’s so much easier to love yourself when you see others loving themselves for the same insecurities. Here’s a list of body-positive Instagrams you should follow.
The next thing is you have to be willing to go outside your comfort zone at least a little bit. Crop tops were the scariest thing to me. I couldn’t imagine myself wearing anything that could show off my stomach. But over time they’ve become one of my favorite things to wear. There are still days that I don’t feel comfortable wearing them, but that’s okay.
That’s the tough thing about self-love—it’s not linear. Every day is not going to be a good day. I still have days that I hate everything I wear and just feel so defeated. It’s these moments that are the hardest. You get in the mindset that you were doing so well, but you have a setback. Often these setbacks make you think that it’s impossible to truly love yourself. How could I have been doing so well just to have a day where everything falls apart? This is okay. You’ll get through it.
Loving yourself is hard but not impossible. It’s going to take some time. Just remember you do deserve to love yourself. You’re beautiful and amazing. Don’t forget to tell yourself!