We all need a little more Zen in our lives. As a college student, daily life is jam-packed, non-stop stress and craziness. In addition, social pressures can be overwhelming. The only sense of tranquility we know is some time past one A.M. when our heads finally hit the pillow. It’s true that we need to get things done, but this anxious, urgent lifestyle has to go. We may have relentless external demands, but inner peace is achievable in any environment, no matter how hectic.
The trick is realizing that inner peace should be a priority, not a reward for getting everything taken care of. The truth is that our plates are always going to be full, automatically refilled before we have time to finish anything. The tasks you set out to achieve and the healthy relationships you desire will miraculously become manageable once you approach them from a place of calm within. Calmness, being “the highest achievement of the self,” according to the Zen proverb on my yogi tea bag, shrinks your head, and consequently the intimidation attached to the multitude of issues that fill it up.
Once your mind is calm, the outside world will start to mirror it in ways that you will like. Learning to prioritize yourself and your inner peace will transform your life. It’s time we all become stable rocks in the middle of a rushing stream, allowing all of the craziness of everyday life to wash over us while we remain immovable. Here are some tips to get started right now, exactly where you are.
“Get to know yourself.” –my mom.
There are so many people who get anxious at the thought of being alone, but that time is necessary while learning to define yourself. Spending the time to get to know yourself as you would a friend is the first step towards inner peace. Take yourself to lunch every once in a while, acknowledge your achievements and learn to forgive your mistakes. When you get to know yourself and understand your worth, you begin to own this miracle of a life you have. Self-love is the best kind of love- not a luxury, but a necessity. It’s the only way to stay centered–it is both the way and the center itself.
“Treat yourself like a toddler.” –Gretchen Ruben.
Toddlers don’t need to do anything to deserve the love and adoration they receive. Considered precious miracles by their parents, tiny children are cherished simply for their value as beings. Likewise, you always deserve to love yourself unconditionally, which requires tolerance. Also, toddlers need to be taken good care of. Feed yourself healthy meals, hydrate, move your body, and make sure you get enough sleep. Above all, know what is best for you and prioritize your well-being.
The best remedy is to think of nothing.
When your head gets crowded with thoughts you can’t untangle, think of absolutely nothing at all. Meditation is an intimidating word, but the truth is that even one simple breath in and out counts. When you are feeling overwhelmed, the next time you enter a room “leave your situation at the door,” in the words of Mary J. Blige. If you are faced with too many tasks to count, allow yourself to release all of the tension. Breathe and think of nothing until you feel calm. Then, in this new frame of mind, take the time to focus all of your attention on one task and nothing else. It actually requires no effort to untangle your knot of thoughts.
Don’t take anything personally ever.
You will never be able to tell what someone is truly thinking, so when you begin to see yourself through the lens of others, you are actually assessing yourself through what you perceive are their judgments of you. Even if you are picking up on negative vibes from someone, remember that every person’s interaction with you or anyone else is a merely a reflection of their relationship with themselves. So, nothing is personal. In order to remain centered in peace, recognize that the challenge is not overcoming what others think of you. Rather, in the words of Maya Angelou, “the real difficulty is overcoming how you think about yourself.”
Ignore what threatens your joy.
Stay away from people who make you feel hard to love. Hold the door wide open for those who don’t want to be in your life instead of compromising yourself to “fit in.” You don’t owe anybody anything. The rule is simple: it doesn’t matter if they don’t like you. You could be the richest, gooiest, most seductive brownie known to mankind, but there will always be someone who prefers blondies. Gravitate towards what makes you joyful, because that is how you begin to set the standards for what you want in your life. It’s how you learn to settle for nothing less than what makes you happy. It also allows you to recognize who your true friends are. Acknowledge with gratitude those who choose to be in your life as you define it because those are the people that matter.
“In the world through which I travel, I am endlessly creating myself.”-Frantz Fanon.
It’s true: you are endlessly creating yourself, and your situation is a reflection of your mind. We’ve all heard the phrase, “I’ll believe when I see it.” It’s time to shift that idea around to “I’ll see it when I believe it,” because that is a universal truth. People who don’t believe in the magic of everyday life are never going to find it. Muster some courage and have faith that everything will turn out all right because it will.