Whenever I leave home to go back to university, my mum slips £20 into my bag and tells me to “spend it on whatever brings you joy”. It’s her way of making sure I look after myself and I have come to totally love this generous ritual. When I get to university, I unpack my bag carefully each time – shaking the books and unfolding clothes before hanging them up – only to delight when the little envelope slides out with a note of encouragement. And whilst sometimes tempting, I have developed the necessary willpower to avoid squandering it on a few pints at the pub. Instead, I save it for a day when a little injection of joy wouldn’t go amiss. I save it for days when I feel really lonely.
Although university lives up to its reputation, humming constantly with social opportunity, it can be overwhelming. Despite being an extrovert to my core, I found myself completely lost in the thick of freshers: surrounded by people permanently, but so desperately lonely. I would wake up each day with a knot the size of a bowling ball in my stomach, hyper-aware of the fact I had no plans for that day. I’d check my phone and see videos from the night before on people’s snapchat and feel simultaneously pathetic and embarrassed that I didn’t have anyone to go with. My mind would spiral then with self-loathing explanations of why I hadn’t been invited out or heard that the event was happening. And I would consequently choose to avoid the further feelings of isolation by hearing everyone talking about ‘the best night ever’ by making the decision to not leave my room that day.
It’s a vicious circle and one that comes with a bounty of damaging misconceptions. Loneliness can occur from total isolation. Perhaps, however, the more potent ugly sister of loneliness rears its head in the middle of a crowd, surrounded by people. They don’t even have to be ‘bad’ people, just not your people. Loneliness can stem from lack of connection with others; from feeling like you don’t fit in with those around you; and it can spiral into excessive amounts of worry, or anxiety if it goes unchecked.
The biggest irony in experiencing loneliness is that you’re not alone in your feelings at all. The Higher Education Policy Institute (HEPI) surveyed more than 10,000 students for its annual study. In 2022, they asked questions about loneliness for the first time and found nearly one in four (23%) reported feeling lonely “all” or “most” of the time. Among its conclusions, the report also highlighted that levels of loneliness recorded by students were significantly higher than in the general population.
In my experience with loneliness, I found five top tips to combatting this student epidemic:
1. Establish a routine
Waking up, getting dressed, and making the bed gives you a positive start to every single day. It provides a sense of accomplishment which can propel you to be more productive and have a clearer mind for attending classes and going to social events.
2. Find social areas to study
Sitting and working in a more social study space, be it a coffee shop or one of the chattier study spaces, can make you feel like you’ve socialised. Just being in a place of energy makes a noticeable difference to your outlook.
3. Join a society
The biggest cliché to exist, but for good reason. University has so much to offer and it’s never too late to join a new society, meet new people and get out and about.
4. Exercise regularly
According to research done by ‘Better’, 54% found walking or running in the open air the best remedy for reducing feelings of anxiety and loneliness. Exercise causes our body to release endorphins, improving mood and interacting with receptors in the brain that reduce our perception of pain.
5. Get out of the university bubble
Leaving the seemingly all-consuming world of university can help transform Bristol into home. Bristol has so much more to offer beyond the end of Whiteladies road. Go to an art gallery or discover a new coffee shop and remind yourself that people in the normal world don’t wear slippers to the shops.
Perhaps most importantly, know when to seek professional help. If you’ve been struggling with loneliness for a while or are experiencing symptoms of anxiety or other mental health issues, reach out to someone. No matter how seemingly small your problems feel, it is crucial you take time to address them.
Finally, from a second year who has been there and still struggles at times, it can and will get better.
If you are struggling with feelings of loneliness and isolation, yu can contact the student wellbeing team on wellbeing-access@bristol.ac.uk
or phone (9 am to 5 pm Monday to Friday) +44 (0)117 456 9860