Life can be like entering a swimming pool step by step, going through school, GCSE’s, A-levels, easing yourself in and allowing yourself to acclimatise. University, however, can be like someone has taken away the rest of the steps and your next stride plunges you in to the very deep end.
Not only are you trying to keep up a new level of education, but also an entirely new life style. The combination of these two things can often leave you feeling out of depth, and the struggle to resurface can be overwhelming. This feeling, although totally terrifying, is only a natural reaction which is completely okay to experience.
Although you’ve been plunged in at the very deep end, and will inevitably drift out there again even if you’ve found steady ground, there’s always a float nearby if you just let yourself see it.
It’s the combination of stresses which can lead to this feeling. An overload of tutorial work, deadlines and reading are an already overwhelming experience but combine this with a little FOMO with friends or not feeling clever enough because of an inability to keep up, and it’s very easy to start losing what’s important under a pile of things to do.
There will probably come a time where you come home from a long stint at the library to an ever-growing pile of dirty washing and a week’s back-log of dirty dishes that you aren’t able to tackle yet because of the work you’re putting in to meet that deadline. Although home chores are often pushed aside for the benefit of uni work, for many people a healthy and happy home space is vital for their relaxation. Making sure you have a space to relax, as well as work, will help you ground yourself in the midst of feeling yourself getting out of depth. If spending an hour quickly sorting your home chores allows you this space of relaxation, then it’s something you need to prioritise.
Another worryingly common reason for feeling out of depth at university is feeling like everyone else is excelling around you whilst you’re feeling stuck under a long list of things to do which feels that it will never end. It’s important to remember in that case that everyone’s different modules/social lives/sleeping patterns allow them to tackle work differently at different times, but that doesn’t mean you’re inferior. This is a great time to contact your tutor because, chances are, it’s just a particularly hard topic or a particularly busy week which they (despite if they can seem totally intimidating) are very understanding and helpful about in such situations. Remember that everyone struggles in their own ways, and people can put forward a very different image to how they really may be feeling (something a wise tutor once told me, in response to one of my own frantic ‘help-I-don’t-feel-smart-enough’ emails).
The piles of little things which can leave you feeling out of depth are, mostly, only temporary. It is completely normal and perfectly ok to feel like this sometimes, and can actually be used positively as motivation as long as it’s handled in the right mindset. But to use this feeling positively, you have to stay grounded.
To help you to stay grounded in these times it’s important to find something comfortable and familiar. Don’t be afraid to make a phone call to family or friends from home, however often you need! These people bring back a familiarly to your overwhelming routine and remind you why you decided to tackle it all in the first place. Another good way to overcome the stresses which can lead to feeling out of depth is to make lists, plans and break-downs of plans or things to do, externalising your stress can take a lot of pressure off of yourself.
Whilst it’s ok to feel like this sometimes, if the feeling persists and feels never-ending, then make sure you ask for some more permanent help. Although your university life will throw many obstacles in your way, there should still always be some enjoyment in your lifestyle at all the other wonderful things it has to offer.