Unfortunately, it is true that not everyone has a great time when it comes to visiting family/friends over holiday breaks. It could be draining for someone’s mental, emotional, or physical health. There are a variety of factors that come into play here. A lot of people go away to college to find themselves and learn how to take care of themselves. Sometimes discovering that limiting family time is one of the ways to do this. Students are able to do this while they are away at college, but some students don’t have the option to stay at college during breaks if they want and are forced to go home. Even as little as a couple of days for Thanksgiving break (compared to a big break for Christmas) can be extremely negatively effective. So with Thanksgiving breaks coming up, if being home causes little stress or major stress, here are a couple of tips to help cope!
make sure to take time for yourself
Spending time alone allows you to decompress and recuperate. Taking this time could include spending some time in your room, going on a short walk, taking a bath/shower, or finding a space you know nobody can distract you. You don’t have to lock yourself away for hours, even taking 30 minutes for yourself cause be helpful. During this time do whatever makes you feel relaxed or distracts you from current situations. This could be reading, sleeping, going on Tik Tok, playing with pets, etc. Whatever it is, make sure you enjoy it and makes you feel satisfied with your time. If you can’t come up with anything to really distract you think about what you do in college when you need a break from homework, friends, or work. You could even leave if that is an option for you! Visit someone who makes you comfortable and content.
schedule this downtime
Taking this downtime is important but making sure you actually schedule time for it is crucial. Getting caught up with family commotion and forgetting to take care of yourself is easy. A simple solution to this is scheduling a specific time in your day like it is an event. If you struggle to do this even putting the time in your calendar can be helpful. Take this seriously, like it is a task you need to get done that day.
spend time with those you want to be around
Not everyone has someone they enjoy being around when visiting family and friends. But being able to have at least one person that makes you somewhat happy can be helpful. Whoever this is changes for everyone. For example, If you get along with siblings and need time away from your parents, make sure to spend time with siblings! Whoever this may be for you ensure that you schedule time to be with them. If you don’t have the option of spending time with just them, make sure to be with them when around others. They could even be someone you express your feelings of frustration, too.
plan expectations ahead of time
If you are one to always get high hopes something will change each time you go home, make sure you prepare yourself for what your gut tells you to feel. If repeated disappointment happens, try to manage your expectations to take care of your health. It’s not to say that having hope is a bad thing, just make sure that you are prepared to handle whatever expectations you have of yourself and those you are visiting.
maintain boundaries
Make sure to set limits for yourself and your family members. These boundaries can be ones that you express to family or keep to yourself. Some examples of expressing boundaries to family and friends can be talking about certain topics like politics, explaining not to let them set expectations of you, that you need to take downtime at points, etc. It can be hard to tell others these, but in the end, it is so worth it. They then start to understand you better and can try to have common ground with you. Some examples of setting boundaries with yourself are also controlling what topics to talk about, prioritizing downtime, knowing your limits, etc. Having both these boundaries can be difficult but can be a step toward an easier time at home.
simply staying away
It is okay if you do not want to go home. It is okay to go somewhere else other than home. It is okay to tell others you feel this way. None of this is easy, but putting yourself first is the main goal. If you have a way to avoid this chaos, then it is okay! Spend your break how and where you want to!