When I was in my first semester of college, I remember one of the most daunting things was trying to figure out where I belonged. I’ve always been someone who can get along with everyone, but being in a new place surrounded by strangers was intimidating.
It took time to find my people, but I would go on to form lasting, deep friendships with girls whom I absolutely adore. However, as a current junior, I can confidently say that there are more relationships you need to build as a college student than with your close friends. I’m sure everyone has heard that college is all about networking, and to an extent, it’s the truth. As a pre-medical student, I’ve spent the past three years developing my relationships with all kinds of people; from professors to employers to my academic peers and more, the bonds I’ve formed have had lasting impacts on my physical and mental wellbeing.
For that reason, I want to share my advice for forming meaningful connections with people on a college campus. This is truly the best time to do it, because there are so many opportunities around every corner, especially at a place like BGSU.
If you go to a large school like I do, it can be tempting to blend into the background. You might feel like a tiny island in a giant sea, especially in those introductory-level lecture halls, surrounded by hundreds of faces you don’t recognize. I remember walking into my first biology class as a freshman, the sheer horror on my face when I realized I would have to find a seat in a swarm of students, some of whom already seemed to know one another.
On the bright side, most everyone around you is feeling that same awkward panic, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It may not be easy to grab a seat next to a stranger, and I especially don’t recommend doing that if there are dozens of other seats open, but most of time, people light up when someone asks, “is this seat taken?”. In fact, it’s almost worse to sit down and say nothing.
I used to be terrified of this; that awkward small talk when you first sit down next to someone you don’t know, unsure if your mere presence is enough to make them switch seats. But now, I take it as an opportunity to make a new connection. In my opinion, one of the most underrated types of friendships in college are those you form with your peers in class. And the best part is, you’ll always have something to talk about, whether it’s that horrible homework assignment or nerve-wracking test you have coming up.
Awkward conversation beats awkward silence every time. So, introduce yourself. Make a bad joke. If all else fails, complain about the weather (because we can all agree that walking to class in the rain or snow is the worst part of college life). It may not feel like you’re doing much by having these small conversations, but what starts as an introduction can turn into a lifelong friendship and support system for years to come. Especially in classes that are unique to your major, you’ll be spending a lot of time around the same groups of people. This is the perfect opportunity to find like-minded individuals who share similar passions and career aspirations as you.
And remember, not everyone has to be your best friend. Our relationships with others exist on a spectrum, each with different depths and meanings. You’ll make friends who you share study materials with, others who you meet for lunch, and some who you simply smile at in passing. All of these friendships serve a purpose in your academic career, whether you recognize it or not.
I’ve had the privilege of meeting so many different types of people throughout the past five semesters at BGSU. And even though some of these friendships have naturally come and gone as the years pass by, I hold all of them dear to my heart. In the moment, you never fully realize how essential these relationships are to staying afloat in college.
The word “community” is not solely defined by a tight-knit inner circle with solid boundaries. It is, instead, analogous to the ebb and flow of the sea, changing its borders with ease, accommodating for new friendships and making peace with those which fade. Your community will be everchanging, and although that can seem scary, it is a natural and useful element of college life. It seems to me that every semester is a chapter of its own and being able to form temporary but meaningful connections with others is what makes them worthwhile.
College is scary. It’s overwhelming and unpredictable. But we’re all in the same boat, and the best way to navigate the ups and downs of our academic careers is to do it together. I encourage you to reach out to someone new this week, even so late in the semester. Asking a simple question, complimenting someone’s outfit, or just flat-out introducing yourself can go a long way, even if the act seems small in the moment.
This advice goes beyond your classmates, too. Making connections with employers, professors, campus faculty, clubs/organizations, etc. is essential to advancing your academic career. In fact, this semester has really pushed me to be an over communicator; ask any of my mentors, I send out emails like it’s my job.
But it is in these small exchanges that we slowly build relationships, ones that have the capability to foster career opportunities and develop our interpersonal skills. Especially if you are planning to go to graduate or pre-professional school, honing these skills is essential to becoming a professional who can interact with anyone they meet in the field.
So, say hi to someone new today! You’ll never know what a simple introduction can bring you until you do it.