How to Prevent & Treat the Bates Plague

October is almost here, which means campus has officially entered “Bates Plague” szn. The Plague is a viral infection that infects every friend group, relationship, hook up, lab partner, or teammate that lives in a 1-mile radius from Commons. Most often or not, the Plague manifests itself in a sore throat, stuffy or runny nose, headaches, or fogginess. The most vulnerable population is the first-years, as their immune systems simply are not up to par with the rest of the campus. However, every senior should keep their guard up as well, because the Plague is unpredictable. Here’s your how-to for preventing and treating the Bates Plague.

Prevention:

There is no preventing the Bates Plague. As a Bates student, you are guaranteed to get the Plague once in your four years here. Quite honestly, you will probably get the Plague every year.

Treatment:

There are a few common remedies to the Bates Plague, but there are also a few unconventional ones that you may not consider but should definitely try. First things first, go to CVS and buy DayQuil, NyQuil, ibuprofen, Gatorade, and canned soup/mac & cheese. You will need to take the Dayquil every 4 hours, then transition to NyQuil once it's bed time. The ibuprofen will help soothe your sore throat, so take about 3 of those every 2-4 hours. Gatorade is necessary to replenish the electrolytes that you sweat out in bed the night before, but always mix in plenty of water as well. Trust me on the canned soup and mac & cheese. You will not want to walk to commons, but you will drag yourself out of bed to the microwave in the basement of your dorm. Plus, you need the food in order to truly heal. Also, if you ever feel like you’re too tired to do anything, just take a damn nap.

If none of that works, try going on a run or hitting up the gym to sweat out whatever is inside of you. It may seem like the worst idea in the world, but it can actually work out in your favor! Also, in some circumstances you may lose your voice. If that happens, locate a member of an a capella group, as they may have a nebulizer that will produce steam to soothe your throat and bring you back to life. 

Whatever you do when you get sick, make sure to take care of yourself. If you don’t, you will be stuck in a perpetual cycle of feeling like absolute crap. Follow these steps and you should do just fine!