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Natural Joy is Important…Don’t Fall For Fake Happiness

JP Hanson Student Contributor, Arizona State University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at ASU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

I love making people happy. I love my friends. I love music and dancing and smiling so big that my jaw hurts. All thirty-two teeth I  brought to show-and-tell every single day, to anywhere that would let me. Even on days where it seemed impossible. Kind of like I was meant to be happy. To live out what I was portraying to the real-world and everyone around me. Truth is, I struggle with that sometimes. Struggle with wanting to be seen, yet not wanting  to feel like a burden to those around me. I put a fake smile on in order to make those around me worry less.

Recognizing joy was something that came naturally when I was younger. I grew up with two parents (for a time), always was outside with the girls across the street, and discovered my love and muse for playing music. That exact feeling of pure joy of those experiences while growing up was something I had completely immersed myself in, and my mission was to share it with the people around me when given the opportunity.

On the other hand, my world changed once I understood why that natural joy began to fade. I quickly educated myself in understanding that my friends struggled as well. The importance of checking in with everyone, recognizing their real joy, and making their life a little easier to bear, cannot be understated.

Putting on fake joy is much easier than showing your true emotions. Manifesting negativity is almost “frowned upon” in modern society because every person who drinks kombucha out of mason jars and makes their own cold brew from scratch will tell you “make love, not war,” but they don’t know about the internal war many of us battle each day.

In order to capture what real joy looks like to different people, brightside.me asked twenty people what real joy looks  like. Let’s just say that the submitted pictures offer enough proof. To summarize, many people were finding themselves excited and joyful over quitting their job, pushing personal limits to prove themselves,  and wearing matching outfits with their family.

five women laughing
Photo by nappy from Pexels
When faking happiness, you find yourself staying up late at night, isolating yourself from friends, and normalizing your drastic mood swings, said Alex Moore for happify.com. True happiness is not an overnight change with a positive trajectory, but it’s absolutely something that is okay to have a slow process toward completing. Wanting to better your life is something that everyone has the right to do, especially when it comes to recognizing that something is wrong.

There are plenty of resources available. You are not alone. Reach out to a friend, call the National Suicide Prevention hotline: (800) 273-8255, or begin a journal. Your importance to the people around you is more than you think. Take a deep breath. You can do this, girl.

JP (they/them/theirs) is a graduate student at DePaul who enjoys reading books, playing guitar, and telling bad jokes. When they're not behind a book or getting a tan from their computer screen, catch them planning their next tattoo. Check their 'gram: @hanson.jp