I can’t imagine how much you’re wishing to read about a new topic that is not about quarantine and self-discovery, but let me put you on something; breakups in quarantine are tougher than you’d think. In normal circumstances, you would go out with your friends, buy a new wardrobe, maybe pick up another project at work. Nope! For me, just the opposite happened.
Being stuck inside is a detriment to our mental health as is, but imagine taking the weight of looking at the same four rooms in your house PLUS a recent breakup. It has been a tough journey, and I’m nowhere near the end, but I am feeling better than before. Here is a small synopsis of what occurred recently:
I was finding myself struggling with motivation, stressing about every little thing, and overworking myself. It was tough managing my relationships, especially the one with myself. I was doing more for other people rather than myself for so long that I forgot what it felt like to be in my own body. When I wasn’t working at Starbucks, I was working at my internships, or I was with other people. I was staying up way too late and waking up too early because that was the only time to myself, but little did I know that sleep deprivation is a form of self-harm.
I had to make the executive decision to break things off with my then girlfriend, and we both were upset, but it was something that I needed to do in order to be myself again. While we both were going through the five stages of grief, we were respectful and checked in on each other frequently. It’s a tough time, and burning bridges with campfires is something that will only make healing much longer than it needs to be drawn out.
What I started to do was sit outside for a few minutes a day. Soon, those few minutes turned into an hour, and it just escalated from there. It started as an activity in between my classes, but then turned into my favorite part of my day. It gave me a chance to put real oxygen into my body, and the sounds of the birds and city bus driving just brings me simple happiness. Also, it’s a little known fact that sunlight contains Vitamin D, and it’s an essential for balancing mood swings and increasing serotonin levels.
I listened to my entire Spotify Discover Weekly playlist and cried because much of the songs reminded me of her, but I finally let out all of the emotions that I had bottled within myself. Then I made a new playlist of my favorite songs in order to help me with having some comfort and grounding that I was alone before I met her.
Lastly, I had changed all of my jewlery. She had bought me many necklaces, and those are my favorite accessories especially. A little known fact is that I don’t take off any of my jewlery, no matter what. So having this change made the transition into self healing a little easier. I was able to feel the weight of a new necklace and put myself in an open mindset that I could make new memories wearing these pieces.
While these are the steps I had taken during my breakup, I’m hoping they inspire you to take a different path that doesn’t involve cutting your hair (Really, sometimes it doesn’t turn out the way that we want, and then it just makes everything much worse for us). Go outside, wash your clothes, and change your jewelry around. I promise that taking small steps in the beginning will help ensure the positive trajectory into a better relationship with yourself.