There will be days where kindness can seem impossible to muster. The ability to be friendly, generous and considerate is not easy on those days. This is especially true when we do not receive kindness from other people and this vicious cycle begins where we feel more and more upset throughout the day.
I know that I’m no expert at being kind, just like everyone else. We’re all notorious for having bad days, but I would like to share a few of the reminders I have for myself when I notice my patience running out on something out of my control. The change starts with you and your composure. When you can’t control a situation, then think about how you could control your reaction.
These are three easy tips that I use to act with kindness:
- Take the opportunity to talk with other students.
One of the best ways to spread kindness is by simply talking with other people in a friendly manner. Often, this can be done before and after class, on the ASU shuttle, or even in an elevator.
I will never forget one fateful day on the ASU shuttle, where a graduate student began to talk with me and gave me tips about learning the “soft skills” of communication. They listened to my problems, and showed me kindness by offering a solution. We were kind without a second thought at that moment. It was eye-opening to understand the difference a small conversation can make in someone’s life due to the kindness involved.
- Ask people their names… and remember!
It takes effort to remember the numerous names and faces that we meet each day. The consideration it takes in order to remember someone’s name offers a hint of kindness that is valued by many people.
Many times, I will be walking to class and I will hear my name greeted in passing by other students, which brings a genuine smile to my face because of the time and patience that person dedicated in order to remember my name. In turn, being able to greet this person in a similar manner allows me to spread the kindness of friendliness into another person’s day and show my appreciation for them.
- Be kind to yourself, and allow that positivity to spread.
Showing kindness to everyone also includes yourself. Ensuring that you had a healthy meal before class, or taking self-care measures can impact your entire day. Therefore, it is important to do something for yourself as often as possible. It’s okay to be selfish once in a while because sometimes, that is enough.
Building the habit of acting with kindness may start out feeling tedious when there are more stressful things on your mind. But the reward will impact your mental and physical states. Make a daily goal for yourself and try to complete it before the end of the day. A friend I know tries to compliment at least ten people per day, and she has been doing it for years. Eventually, the accountability becomes muscle memory, and just watch how much you will grow.
Thank you for reading, and feel free to comment your favorite techniques for kindness down below!